[Cranky Old Man]

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway

I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss.

Since when is what women want of any relevance? All that matters is what God wants! (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Never buy a woman gifts, it only makes them greedy and whining about more gifts. Instead just give her a firm beating to make sure she knows her place.(Genesis 3:16)

[Faith_Machine]

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway

Naomi, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday! Don't worry though, I've bought you a state-of-the-art Web cam, which should be arriving in your mail box soon. You'll probably want Captain Portway to set it up for you.

[Mrs. Naomi Portway]

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway

Thank you everybody. I couldn't use the computer for two weeks because I shrank one of Aaron's pilot jackets. Since it was specially hand made, it didn't have a label to not wash it, I should have asked him, but now it's ruined and money doesn't grow on ding-danged trees and any idiot knows you don't wash and dry wool, you take it to the cleaners. I should have known that, since I'm a wife and all.

To whoever told Aaron to get me a new ladder for my birthday, thank you. It'll make it easier to clean the gutters this spring. Also, thank you to whoever sent that big bag of flour. Maybe now with this kind I'll be able to make a halfway decent batch of pancakes, but I don't know, it seems like they taste OK to me, but Aaron says they taste like wet cardboard.

Anyway, now that I'm fifteen, I'll probably start to be better at being a wife and a Mommy. The baby still cries most of the time, but it doesn't bite as much, but I still wear oven mitts when I hold it.


YIC


Mrs. Naomi Portway

[Faith_Machine]

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway

So when can we expect you to be birthing a little brother for that precious bundle of joy? It would be cruel of you not to, as only children tend to be very sad and lonely.