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Wash O'Hanley Wash O'Hanley is offline
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Posts: 2,139
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football - 09-28-2007, 08:02 AM

Washohanley (11:43:22 PM): Greetings Mburmy I am here to discuss your challenge to a football game
MBurmy (11:44:13 PM): Yes that is my challenge...As an extra bonus, I will keep my mouth shut about the allegations if you accept...
Washohanley (11:44:37 PM): While doing some investigations on your team (namely: typing your team's name into google) I discovered that your alleged team is a High School
Washohanley (11:44:41 PM): is this true?
Washohanley (11:44:59 PM): and if you so you are aware that my team is composed of 8 and 9 year olds?
MBurmy (11:45:28 PM): That would be the high school in Louisville, Ohio-We are an elementary school in Waterford, Wisconsin.
Washohanley (11:45:56 PM): Wisconsin? That French sodom?
Washohanley (11:46:15 PM): how do you manage to play football while awash in a sea of homosexuality and beaver pelts?
MBurmy (11:46:29 PM): French sodom? Uh, no, our European heritage is mainly German...
MBurmy (11:46:45 PM): Wisconsin is home of the famous Green Bay Packers
Washohanley (11:46:57 PM): never heard of them, what sport do they play?
MBurmy (11:47:29 PM): They're in the National Football League, and have won 9 league titles and 3 Super Bowls.
Washohanley (11:47:44 PM): National Football League? Is that like the AFL?
MBurmy (11:47:52 PM): The most world championships of any pro football team.
MBurmy (11:48:06 PM): Uh, the AFL merged with the NFL in 1970...
Washohanley (11:48:24 PM): are the Portsmouth Spartans still around?
MBurmy (11:48:48 PM): They've been the Detroit Lions since 1938...
Washohanley (11:48:53 PM): that Bobby Layne sure could run a statue of liberty play
MBurmy (11:49:26 PM): He's been dead for 21 years...
Washohanley (11:49:36 PM): tragic
Washohanley (11:49:50 PM): was it a sudden death?
MBurmy (11:50:30 PM): Umm...he died at 59 in 1986, probably from a drinking problem...
Washohanley (11:50:35 PM): Isee
Washohanley (11:51:50 PM): naturally I wanted to discuss strategy, namely if your team would be using the new trick play called "The Forward Pass". Gus Dorais ran it with some success recently and I wanted to know whether or not you considered such strategy to be... underhanded
Washohanley (11:53:02 PM): John Heisman remarked that the use of the forward pass was a revolution in modern football
MBurmy (11:53:13 PM): Well, you know a Catholic helped popularize the forward pass...
MBurmy (11:53:20 PM): That would be Knute Rockne...
Washohanley (11:53:36 PM): He was probably trying to woo a child into his love fortress of debauchery
MBurmy (11:53:44 PM): I assume your team still wears leather helmets?
Washohanley (11:53:47 PM): helmets?
MBurmy (11:54:12 PM): We have helmets with-get this-face masks!
Washohanley (11:54:17 PM): like hockey?
MBurmy (11:54:47 PM): Sorta like hockey, but with less bars...
Washohanley (11:54:53 PM): the only kids that wear helmets are the those kids that ride the short bus to school. My team uses their bus as a blocking sled in the mornings
MBurmy (11:55:37 PM): Hey, you might want to read about my inspiration in coaching:
MBurmy (11:55:39 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Lombardi
Washohanley (11:55:58 PM): never heard of him
MBurmy (11:57:03 PM): Check out some of his quoatations:
MBurmy (11:57:04 PM): http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Vince_Lombardi
Washohanley (11:57:39 PM): very inspirational- you say this guy coached professional football? I've never heard of him, was it in the European league?
MBurmy (11:58:22 PM): No, it was for the National (american) Football League, most famously for the Green Bay Packers...
Washohanley (11:58:53 PM): those vagabonds that are owned by the Cheese Packing plant?
MBurmy (1120 PM): Actually, they started out as a meat packing company's football team...
Washohanley (12:00:08 AM): I bet they let negroes play on their team too
MBurmy (12:01:10 AM): Actually, one of these late "negroes" on the Packers had a great devotion to the Lord...
Washohanley (12:01:27 AM): I find that hard to believe. Explain yourself!
MBurmy (12:01:34 AM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reggie_White
Washohanley (12:03:26 AM): he only played one position? In college I played quarterback, running back, right gaurd, linebacker, kicker, punter and long snapper as well as a short stint as a defensive gaurd for 3 games. Pat Summerall called me "the amazing goat boy" because of my quick feet and hankering for cans and other garbage thrown on the field.
MBurmy (12:03:57 AM): Pat Summerall? You mean the broadcaster?
MBurmy (12:04:09 AM): Most NFL players only play one position...
Washohanley (12:04:18 AM): because they're all limp-wristed pansies
MBurmy (12:04:31 AM): However, several high school and arena/indoor players play two...
Washohanley (12:05:08 AM): I once long snapped the ball to myself, gaurded three defensive linemen and punted the ball in the same play and made it down field in time to make the tackle and cause a fumble.
Washohanley (12:05:18 AM): in that order
Washohanley (12:07:17 AM): do you think Red Barber will be available to call our competition?
MBurmy (12:08:54 AM): Red Barber's been dead for almost 15 years...
Washohanley (12:09:16 AM): OH DOCTOR!
MBurmy (12:09:58 AM): However, I would LOVE to get Jim Irwin & Max McGee to do the broadcast...
Washohanley (12:11:36 AM): sounds good
MBurmy (12:12:20 AM): We'll even design helmets & uniforms for your team...
Washohanley (12:13:26 AM): I don't know, we exhumed Bronko Nagurski's grave for our's (for good luck)
MBurmy (12:14:15 AM): What are your team colors?
Washohanley (12:14:17 AM): white
Washohanley (12:14:21 AM): and another shade of white
MBurmy (12:14:44 AM): Ours are green, black, and white...
Washohanley (12:16:07 AM): due to certain legal... misfortunes... some of our players aren't allowed to leave the county (some rape charges or something), as such the game will have to be played at Landover's Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium
MBurmy (12:16:34 AM): What does it look like?
Washohanley (12:16:31 AM): in honor of your arrival we even added "hash marks" to our fields and added a second end zone
MBurmy (12:16:59 AM): Cool...Hope you have that for all your opponents
Washohanley (12:17:28 AM): we generally play half court football- when a player gets to the 50 yard line they turn around and run back
MBurmy (12:19:07 AM): I assume your team helmets look like:
MBurmy (12:19:09 AM): http://www.helmet-depot.com/w-17.gif
MBurmy (12:19:35 AM): I will accept your white-&-white combo...
MBurmy (12:19:56 AM): But we're wearing our green & black too...
Washohanley (12:19:55 AM): no, we just shave a number into the side of each kid's head and give them a little asrpin before each game
Washohanley (12:23:54 AM): now I wanted to discuss some of the... unfortunate... allegations against me made by my athletic enemies and most recently you
Washohanley (12:24:30 AM): as I find these to be hurtful to my character and grossly uninformed
MBurmy (12:25:11 AM): I did go a bit out of line, and profusely apologize...
Washohanley (12:25:14 AM): I run a tight shift on my team and discipline is the main priority
Washohanley (12:25:40 AM): as I explained in my topic; most of what is being attributed to myself are flat out lies or misunderstandings from people not involved
MBurmy (12:26:18 AM): I do tend to sway by some media opinion, which Fr. Martin has lectured me on...
MBurmy (12:27:21 AM): Anyway, check out my helmet design...
Washohanley (12:27:30 AM): I'm sure that if your quarterback had thrown an incomplete pass you would have also lashed him 40 times with the antenna off your car. We're not just coaching to win here, we are trying to build character for these young men!
MBurmy (12:28:29 AM): No, I wouldn't have...If I had done that, then I'd get a five-game suspension and a $500 fine from the conference...
MBurmy (12:29:16 AM): For the first offense
Washohanley (12:29:19 AM): $500 is chump change to me and is a small price to pay to build character and morals
MBurmy (12:29:58 AM): Second offense, I'd get suspended for the season with no pay...
MBurmy (12:30:20 AM): Third offense, I'd get banned for life...
Washohanley (12:30:48 AM): that a union thing? you can avoid those hefty fines if you say you're working for an olive oil company and tell the feds that your football team is actually one of those "Brat Camps" for at-risk youth.
MBurmy (12:32:29 AM): Then I'd be breaking the 8th commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor
Washohanley (12:32:30 AM): as far as Uncle Sam is concerned the Landover Baptist Sultan Strom Thurmonds is "Camp El Chupacabra" located near Mammoth Mountain in the Sierra Nevadas where parents send their drug-addicted teens for rehabilitation through camping and team-building exercises
MBurmy (12:33:05 AM): I assume you say they're midget teens?
Washohanley (12:33:12 AM): no
Washohanley (12:33:17 AM): that's outrageous
MBurmy (12:34:37 AM): Okay, first we begin with the coaches' Ten Commandments quiz...
MBurmy (12:34:58 AM): You start with the First Commandment...
Washohanley (12:35:20 AM): why don't you start
Washohanley (12:35:25 AM): or we can type it at the same time
Washohanley (12:35:28 AM): GO!
MBurmy (12:35:49 AM): 1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no strange gods before Me.
Washohanley (12:35:51 AM): 1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no strange gods before Me.
Washohanley (12:35:56 AM): very good
MBurmy (12:36:02 AM): 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Washohanley (12:36:03 AM): 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
MBurmy (12:36:21 AM): 3. Remember to keep Holy the Sabbath Day.
Washohanley (12:36:20 AM): 3. Remember to keep Holy the Sabbath Day.
MBurmy (12:36:43 AM): 4. Honor thy father and thy mother.
Washohanley (12:36:41 AM): 4. Honor thy father and thy mother.
MBurmy (12:36:51 AM): 5. Thou shalt not kill.
Washohanley (12:36:54 AM): 5. Thou shalt not kill.

MBurmy (12:37:00 AM): 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Washohanley (12:37:00 AM): 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
MBurmy (12:37:07 AM): 7. Thou shalt not steal.
Washohanley (12:37:07 AM): 7. Thou shalt not steal.
MBurmy (12:37:20 AM): 8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Washohanley (12:37:20 AM): 8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
MBurmy (12:37:37 AM): 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
Washohanley (12:37:35 AM): 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
MBurmy (12:37:52 AM): 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
Washohanley (12:37:52 AM): 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
MBurmy (12:38:06 AM): How did I do?
Washohanley (12:38:22 AM): good
MBurmy (12:38:47 AM): Did I use the right Commandments? I think so...
MBurmy (12:40:24 AM): Anyway, what is Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium's capacity?
Washohanley (12:41:36 AM): well that changes by the week
MBurmy (12:41:58 AM): What will it be when the Knights come to Freehold?
Washohanley (12:41:53 AM): you have your standard swap meets, civil war reenactments, 4h club auctions
Washohanley (12:42:27 AM): then some punk teens stole the bench one day and cut our capacity in half
Washohanley (12:43:40 AM): I'm sure once we clean all the goat droppings out after the 4h club is done using the tent you can fit several hundred people in there if they bring folding chairs
MBurmy (12:44:33 AM): I hope there's enough for an audible "booooo" when we come in...
Washohanley (12:45:11 AM): Mburmy- is your St. Thoman Aquinas located at 302 South Second Street Waterford WI 53185
Washohanley (12:45:21 AM): tel: 262-534-2265
MBurmy (12:45:47 AM): Well, you can contact the coach at 262-554-6329...
Washohanley (12:46:13 AM): according to this website your school only offers volleyball and basketball which are for lesbians and colereds respectively
MBurmy (12:46:57 AM): Our football team is our "secret weapon"...
Washohanley (12:47:13 AM): and according to the staff list your physical education teamer is a woman
MBurmy (12:47:31 AM): Yes she is...
Washohanley (12:47:40 AM): sounds like this school is located in San Francisco
MBurmy (12:47:58 AM): And my wife is African-American...
Washohanley (12:47:53 AM): do you have your kids put condoms on cucumbers too?
MBurmy (12:48:43 AM): Our football team might be changing its name...Any suggestions?
Washohanley (12:49:27 AM): sir I am going to need some kind of evidence that your team even exists before we can have a game because according to this website your team doesn't exist (or did you take my adivce and change to a summer camp already)
MBurmy (12:50:37 AM): Well, I am going to need a press release verifying the existence of the "Sultan Strom Thurmonds" (and I think Crusaders would be a better name for you)
Washohanley (12:51:00 AM): in fact, no where on this website is Father Thomas Martin nor "Burmy" mentioned
MBurmy (12:51:31 AM): Well, we're in Waterford II, Wisconsin
MBurmy (12:52:22 AM): Waterford II's mayor is George Ringo.
Washohanley (12:52:37 AM): well that kind of information can't be googled or anything
Washohanley (12:52:59 AM): the mayor of Moorpark, California is Patrick Hunter- that doesn't mean anything to this conversation, though
MBurmy (12:54:03 AM): George Ringo was named in honor of the past Pope...After John Paul comes George Ringo, right?
Washohanley (12:54:09 AM): who cares
MBurmy (12:54:30 AM): Well, I need to go to sleep. GOOD NIGHT!
Washohanley (12:54:29 AM): knowing Popes is about as usefull as knowing every Hobbit's name in Lord of the Rings


Seems that Father Martin and Paul Bear Liar here have a little explaining to do.
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