Re: Manly Jokes -
09-29-2013, 03:23 PM
Some years ago, the Lord came to the conclusion that the little house next to the Pearly Gates was looking a little shabby and He told Peter to get some estimates to fix it up. God thought some of that vinyl siding would be just fine.
Soon thereafter, a young man who was a Mexican, though saved, arrived for his Heavenly reward. Peter welcomed him and found that he had been a vinyl siding installer in life, so he asked him for an estimate. The young man took measurements and told Peter he would do the job for $2500.
Peter asked if the young man would break down (or explain the various costs) the job for him. The young man said the materials would cost $2500 and he would do the job for free, so glad he was to be in Heaven. Peter said that sounded pretty good, but God said to get three estimates.
Within days, an old and experienced contractor appeared at the gates and Peter asked him for an estimate. The old man took extensive and exact measurements, did some calculations and said the job would cost $5,000.
Peter said that was kind of high, but could he break it down for him. The old contractor explained that he would do the job exactly as it should be done, using only the best materials, with a lifetime factory guarantee, and that he would be using only the most expert labor to do the job. Peter thought that sounded reasonable, but he needed to get one more estimate.
A couple of weeks passed and an old siding salesman who had risen high in that business, it was Uncle Sol himself, appeared for his reward. Now, Uncle Sol was a Jew, but a shrewd one. He realized that if he was going to get to Heaven, he had to get right with Jesus and he did. Shout Glory! As an aside- Uncle Sol was killed by doing remodeling jobs, which has killed more Jews than Hitler.
Well, Peter asked Uncle Sol for the last estimate. Sol glanced over at the little house and said it would cost $22,500.
Brother Peter was flabberghasted. "Sol!", he cried, "that is nine times as high as the lowest bid and $17,500 more than the next. How did you come up with that? Break it down for me."
Uncle Sol said, "That's $10,000 for you, $10,000 for me and we'll let the Mexican do it."
They were friends for ever after.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11