New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
Brothers and Sisters, as all True Christian™ parents here likely realize, when your children grow up, they will eventually discover the temptations of the flesh, and, if you spot this too late, even start touching themselves to explore the possibilities.:bad:
Of course, this kind of behaviour is very repulsive and offensive to the Lord Jesus Christ, who, being omnipresent, has to watch every sigh and every groan, and being omniscient, is at the same time completely aware of whatever filth is on the mind of the person committing this sin. It is for good reason that Paul wrote: 1 Corinthians 6:15-20: Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. So, all kinds of measures have been taken by True Christian™ parents against this evil, with mixed results. Look here for example for various traditional suggestions to keep your son from sinning. So far, beating seems to work in most cases, while in extreme cases amputation of the sinful bodily parts is suggested by the Lord Jesus Himself: Matthew 5:29-30: And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. However, an end has come to these troubling, embarrassing issues, thanks to a new technological innovation: The Houdini Locking Steel C*ck Chastity! http://www.bdsmtoybox.com/ProductImages/3789m.jpg Quote:
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Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
$225.95? Jeez, it's just a piece of metal with a lock. I bet it was made by joos. :joo:
Still, a great piece of equipment. I'm sure it's very effective. |
Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
Well being thrifty like I am, it looks like the hand part of a handcuff (can get that from a police supply store) and some piping would let a man make it himself. I have a few concerns though.
- Cleanliness, should it be removed during showers? Then again I've heard this is where boys start touching. Also how often would it need to be cleaned. - At what age would you suggest introducing this, because I don't think it would work on a young umm.... ahem....undeveloped boy. |
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Think of the Mayan head sloping techniques, foot bounding or female circumcision techniques being practiced in savage countries! Imagine what could happen with the male member! I remember I used to walk around with a constant erection at the age of 12 or so. If you put that monstrous device on a young man's penis. Take your index finger and point it forward. Then, take it at a 45 degree angle pointing downward. That poor child will never produce enough, as you fundies call it, Soldiers for Christ. If you are going to shape IT, you should point it a few degrees upward toward at the tip, or so I hear. I suppose if you're going to mutilate a child's penis through circumcision, you might as well shape the damn thing to produce the maximum amount of pleasure. |
Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
What's to stop them from sidling up next to a jacuzzi jet or, I hate to say it... tickle their prostate?
My eldest son is nearly old enough to be getting erections, and this is on my mind constantly. I think about it all the time lately. I was just thinking I'd cuff his hands to the side of the bed at night. And Samuel Coleridge... Why do you hate Jesus so much? I find your lack of faith disturbing. |
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God actually commands us to stay clear of unsaved trash like you. You're lucky we let you post here at all. Don't push your luck. :glare: Quote:
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Complete physical restraint seems to only emphasis the issue. Having the will to overcome the urges much like yourselves is surely preferable to having to wear something whose only purpose is to prevent said urges. I think the best analogy I can think of is that the only people who are obsessed with food are the morbidly obese and the anorexic. Learning self control should surely build stronger morals than leaving all the urges and desires, but simply stopping the outcome. |
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Could one of the Godly men please answer my questions. |
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Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
Noble invention. Nobody should toy with a man's plumbing except his wedded spouse.
Tap-notch invention. |
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that contraption would be cruel punishment. you gotta teach your kids some god damn self control.
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oO
This is not what god will ... I would report my parents to the police if they would put this thing on my ***** & hate them 4- ever really! Mastrubating is not bad. I'm 16 and do it often and my dad buy me extra Slide cream... It was a shock to see that !!! This is no longer god thing you will trying to keep us from things like mastrubating, but you're no longer intrested really in god ... I'm shocked ! I would really report my parents if they would put this thing on my best part... |
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Re: New technology: How to stop your child from masturbating!
I'm a teenager what they written in the bible I don't understand! It is to hard to understand what they are written in. They use to hard words that teenager never will know :D
And if you do something good for you and mastrubating and don't hurt you! Why will god don't like this? In the bible writen don't hurt you and something like this and when I mastrubating I'm not hurt me only do something good for me. |
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