How to Build a Snowman and Be Damned
 

I am concerned about snowmen that have appeared, appear or will, at any time appear in and around Landover.

Despite starting His Work in and around Eden, a place not noted for snow, the Lord is clear on Snowpersons. They are graven images of false gods and an abhorrence to Him.

De:5:7: Thou shalt have none other gods before me.
De:5:8: Thou shalt not make thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the waters beneath the earth:

Many scholars, myself included, assert that

Jer:32:34: But they set their abominations in the house, which is called by my name, to defile it.
Jer:32:35: And they built the high places of Baal, which are in the valley of the son of Hinnom, to cause their sons and their daughters to pass through the fire unto Molech; which I commanded them not, neither came it into my mind, that they should do this abomination, to cause Judah to sin.

is a direct reference to snowmen, which were, back in the day, idols to Molech. Note how the prophet says “they built the high places of Baal” and we all know that there is snow at the top of mountains.

DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN TO WORSHIP FALSE GODS!!! THE RESULT WILL BE WORSE THAN THE AMNITYVILLE HORROR AND THE COST OF EXORCISM IS HIGH!!!

What kind of person would produce such examples as these?

Gay ->

Heathen ->

An imbiber->

But even a “plain” snowman is pure evil!

Heed God’s Word!

Mic:1:7: And all the graven images thereof shall be beaten to pieces, and all the hires thereof shall be burned with the fire, and all the idols thereof will I lay desolate: for she gathered it of the hire of an harlot, and they shall return to the hire of an harlot.
Mic:1:8: Therefore I will wail and howl, I will go stripped and naked: I will make a wailing like the dragons, and mourning as the owls.

We do not want God wailing, howling and stripped naked. :angry:

Re: How to Build a Snowman and Be Damned
 

Brother Bathfire, you might have seen my song about Frosty, and forgive me if it has stoked your temper over the thought of snowmen which are undeniably perverted creatures; pagan. I heard from someone (might have been Mr. Buck) that "snowmen" is slang for a particularly henious snow-mosexual act, involving the several man surrounding the "snowman" who getting slathered in their milky issue, covering him in so much gooey spunk he looks like a real snowman. They they stick a "carrot" in his face, which the snowman dangles off his nose with sadistic glee.

Forgive me for having to describe this disgusting act in vivid detail for the family forum, but I feel the danger of meeting a snowman is so sinfully real that I must warn with emphatic gusto.

Re: How to Build a Snowman and Be Damned
 

I do not speak for myself, of course, but has been mentioned within my hearing, that a gentleman's - ahem - "staff" does not perform well at all well in cold weather and is usually most "unobtrusive".

I feel you have probably misunderstood Mr Buck who is often given to flights of what we might call "specialized philosophy".