The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php)
-   The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=12)
-   -   New Jew Lawyer Needed! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=99374)

Des 05-25-2014 04:33 AM

New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
I desperately need a Jew lawyer with a great track record. My old lawyer, Harry Finkelstein, dropped me as a client when I accidentally mispronounced his name as Fecal Stain some 28 documented times. How the man expects a decent American to correctly pronounce such a funny name is a mystery to me.

Des 05-25-2014 04:45 AM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
P.S. I should mention that last year I was dropped by Benjamin E Schmidt-Stein for virtually the same reason. I think it best I avoid attorneys named Stein altogether.

Johny Joe Hold 05-25-2014 02:38 PM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Des (Post 1090720)
P.S. I should mention that last year I was dropped by Benjamin E Schmidt-Stein for virtually the same reason. I think it best I avoid attorneys named Stein altogether.


My sympathies, Mr. Des.

I understand there have been Jews who changed their names to Smith and Jones to prevent these problems. That is the ultimate solution.

Mary Thompson 05-26-2014 06:50 AM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Oh those Joos! :joo: Their names are so weird and are just begging to be said wrong.

Alvin Moss 05-26-2014 05:42 PM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Luckily, Jew lawyers are plentiful, so obtaining a new one should be possible.

Alphonse Alban 05-26-2014 06:46 PM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
I hate when that happens. With my previous joo lawyer, the worst case scenario happend! He realized that he was a filthy joo and he converted into Christianity :angry:

While I'm happy for his soul, he became totally useless as a lawyer when he was not greedy, evil and ruthless money-grabber anymore. Just imagine how bad I felt when I had to tell to a good Christian that I have to let him go.

Johny Joe Hold 05-27-2014 01:21 AM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban (Post 1091002)
While I'm happy for his soul, he became totally useless as a lawyer when he was not greedy, evil and ruthless money-grabber anymore. Just imagine how bad I felt when I had to tell to a good Christian that I have to let him go.

You have to wonder what makes a Joo Lawyer so good at being a lawyer. I have my own theory.

If a man has a feeling of guilt in the back of his mind all the time, I think he tries to compensate. So the Joo says, "I killed Jesus. I need to excel as a lawyer to make amends."

This guilt torments the Joo and pushes him harder.

Ex-soccer player 05-27-2014 08:52 PM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold (Post 1091108)
If a man has a feeling of guilt in the back of his mind all the time, I think he tries to compensate. So the Joo says, "I killed Jesus. I need to excel as a lawyer to make amends."

This guilt torments the Joo and pushes him harder.

You are a kind man, Mayor Hold, you always try to think well of people, even of the jews. I always thought jew lawyers are good lawyers because they have no honorable feelings at all, they have no conscience whatsoever, this makes them ruthless and wicked. They just see the money they can make. They would kill their own clients for some pennies just as they killed Jesus.

Nobar King 05-27-2014 08:57 PM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Des (Post 1090717)
Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!

I recommend a Jew with experience and not a new lawyer.

see_the_light 05-27-2014 11:06 PM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 1091310)
I recommend a Jew with experience and not a new lawyer.

Yes, they're like fighting-cocks, it's only seeing their sparring with another cock that we see if they are any good.

An experienced joo-lawyer in court is like a well groomed gamecock in the cockpit!

PRAISE THE LORD!

Des 05-28-2014 12:20 AM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
I appreciate your concern, Brothers, but I meant a lawyer new to me, not new to the practice.

Alvin Moss 05-28-2014 12:25 AM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Here is a handy means that I have used: A Jew lawyer often called a "Goldberg". Those who are not named Stein are usually named Goldberg. Get one named Goldberg and just remember that your Goldberg is a Goldberg.

In this fashion, you will not offend the Jew by misstating his name.

Des 06-01-2014 02:50 AM

Re: New Jew Lawyer Needed!
 
Looks like Gary Lipshitz will be handling my legal problems from now on.


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:18 PM.

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved