NOTICE: All Freehold Navtiviity Scenes Now Protected by GPS.
NOTICE to Freehold Citizens:
I am encouraging everyone to leave their navitity scences lighted and in place until New Years Day or later. This will allow ever more passersby to see the historically accuate portrayal of the birth of Baby Jesus. Perhaps some will come to Jesus and join Landover Baptist Church. I have received calls from people who have experienced the theft of their Baby Jesus'. Freehold Police have done everything possible to find and prosecute the thieves. We have heard that several Baby Jesus' are hidden in the Des Moines Housing Projects. The good news is that Freehold Police have visited every nativity scene and implanted each Baby Jesus with a GPS tracking device. This will allow Police to find stolen Jesus figures in the Des Monies Housing Projects and arrest the thieves. Each and every Baby Jesus in now safe. God Bless our wonderful City. Johny Joe Hold, Mayor http://www.christianpost.com/news/sa...urines-111425/ |
Re: NOTICE: All Freehold Navtiviity Scenes Now Protected by GPS.
Citizens should remember that protecting you're nativity scene falls under the "stand you're ground" law in Freehold, and won only need to feel like the Nativity Scene is threatened to use deadly force. Landmines can be as effective as GPS at defending you're Nativity Scene provided you have a few spare pieces to replace the ones that get damaged in the explosions.
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Re: NOTICE: All Freehold Navtiviity Scenes Now Protected by GPS.
Theft of the Baby Jesus has become so widespread that it now deserves its own Wikipedia page.
In some cases the rug munching lezbeans are to blame: Quote:
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Re: NOTICE: All Freehold Navtiviity Scenes Now Protected by GPS.
Mary, I hope all the children are implanted with GPS tracking devices as per Mayor Hold's advice! If they were stolen by heathens, no end of harm could be done to them in just seconds, bless the little children's hearts.
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Re: NOTICE: All Freehold Navtiviity Scenes Now Protected by GPS.
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Those kids really give the scene a feeling of reality. We all know the manger had no central heat and so Mary, Joeseph, the shepards, wisemen and who ever else was there were cold. I'm sure you have explained to the kids the cold makes it an authentic display. |
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:) |
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Oh, to live in a town with such a caring mayor. Our neighbors, the Carmalucci's, converted from Catholicism to true Christianity and now attend our Baptist church. They had their Mary stolen from the nativity scene; we all suspect it was the work of disgruntled Catholics, perhaps the Santos family. Little Lisa Carmalucci was so heartbroken not to have a full nativity scene. Most of the Catholics think stringing blue lights around half a bathtub with Mary in it is decoration enough. Why they would need to steal a kneeling Mary - well, it brings to mind hideous reasons. Mayor, I pray to our LORD that one day I can reside in your halcyon village.
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Your obvious committment to Jesus would be an asset to our City on a Hill. We have suffered no thefts of Marys or Jesuses since our full scale effort to keep out theives from the Des Moines Housing Project. It's residents are, if I may say it delicately, not like us. |
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