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-   -   Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=41600)

Daisy Mae Johnson 04-21-2010 02:30 AM

Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
THINK ABOUT THAT next time you are feeling randy and want to molest yourself.

For 30 seconds of pleasure you will spend an ETERNITY in HELL. If you are a male (as most masturbators are) All the the souls in the sperm you spilled will ALSO SPEND ETERNITY IN HELL. Yes, that is right! All your unborn sperms souls go to HELL too!

DON'T DO THE CRIME IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME!:evil_2:

1 Corinthians 6:18
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."





Next time you feel the urge to molest yourself, the Bible says you are better off cutting off that part of your body than to risk going to HELL.

Matthew 5:30


30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into HELL. :devil:






THINK ABOUT THAT PERVERTS. JESUS IS WATCHING YOU! :jesussmile:



Levi Jones 04-21-2010 02:37 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth and Eternity in HELL?
 
Being an ex-masturbater myself, I know the pain of breaking the cycle of self abuse. Your bottom parts feel sooooo full and you're sure even a breeze will send you over the edge.

That's why I turned to lucid dreaming. I learned that nocturnal emissions weren't my fault. :innocent:

The Hand 04-21-2010 03:02 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
I never saw the point in partaking of an activity that leaves you dirty and ashamed afterward. The fact that it's a SIN makes it all the more reason to put it out of your mind.

Gal. 5
[16] This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
[17] For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.


Heaven and Hell are certainties. Why risk your eternal soul for a few moments of unsatisfying and unnecessary work?

Purge the Unfaithful 04-21-2010 03:04 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
I found that the 6 years I have spent not touching myself "down there" or thinking impure thoughts not only saves me from God's mighty and bountiful vengeance on my soul, it also makes the word of God so much easier to understand.

Praise to Jesus!!

Rev. Jim Osborne 04-21-2010 03:27 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde (Post 511711)
If you are a male (as most masturbators are) All the the souls in the sperm you spilled will ALSO SPEND ETERNITY IN HELL. Yes, that is right! All your unborn sperms souls go to HELL too!

This is an important point. Masturbation is not just a sin against yourself and God, but others, in this case, sperm souls. Each time you masturbate, you are killing upwards of 600 million human souls! That's 10x the amounts of deaths of everyone in World War II....each time you ejaculate.

Masturbators are literally worse than Stalin. Masturbation is murder and unless you repent of your sins, you will go to Hell.

Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

But some people are confused about this. Why would sperm souls go to Hell? They are innocent, right? Wrong. The Bible makes it clear that the only way to get to Heaven is to accept Jesus Christ as your savior. Since sperm have not accepted Christ, they automatically go to Hell. Just like unborn babies and retarded people.

Psalm 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

The Bible says even before we are born we are worthless sinners deserving of Hell. Since sperms have not accepted Christ as their savior, the only place they can go is straight to Hell.

Something else to think about is this: The majority of souls in Hell are sperm souls. There are more sperm than adult people in Hell. If the average ejaculation is 500 million sperm, and a sinning hellbound man on averages 5,000 ejaculations in his lifetime, that is a total lifetime sperm count of 2.5 Trillion Sperm Souls sent to Hell. Per adult male human.

For every male sinner in Hell there are 2.5 trillion sperms. That is why it is called Hell. Because there is nothing but sperm everywhere.

Daisy Mae Johnson 04-21-2010 04:12 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
1 Attachment(s)
OMG Rev Jim!!! Do you suppose that all the sperm souls are causing Global Warming because they are taking up so much space in HELL and causing it to overflow by seeping out of lava tubes and causing volcanic explosions?

Have the Icelanders wanked sooooo much and sent soooo many unborn sperm souls to HELL that HELL Sperm is literally being spewed out in to the air we breath? Just think of all the poor Brits who are choking in Icelander Sperm by inhaling the sperm soul cloud and all the planes that have been grounded because they are covered in Icelandic sperm souls. :fear2:

Maybe all these sperm souls causing Global Warming will soon bring upon the RAPTURE!

It could happen!!!


SHOUT GLORY!
:yahoo:


Purge the Unfaithful 04-21-2010 11:09 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde (Post 511757)
OMG Rev Jim!!! Do you suppose that all the sperm souls are causing Global Warming because they are taking up so much space in HELL and causing it to overflow by seeping out of lava tubes and causing volcanic explosions?

I fear Sister that it is worse than that; every time someone touches themselves "down there" and spills his seed they commit the vicious murder of thousands upon thousands of souls! Just to think of what we hear happens in "Adult" video stores just makes me sick. Those places are such vile businesses celebrating this deplorable practice while millions of unborn souls are disposed of on their floors. Oh Jesus! Let your wrath flow on the masturbator!!!!

Glory Be!!

Petal 04-21-2010 11:50 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Purge the Unfaithful (Post 511848)
Just to think of what we hear happens in "Adult" video stores just makes me sick. Those places are such vile businesses celebrating this deplorable practice while millions of unborn souls are disposed of on their floors.

:cray: Mr.Purge, i be cryings for all them pore liddle unborned souls that not get no christain burials, :( i thinks they needs to be wipeds up off of them floors :icon8: an tooked to a cemeterys where they each get puts into a liddle tiny coffins an burieds -_-

Brother Barnabus 04-21-2010 03:13 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Hand (Post 511729)
I never saw the point in partaking of an activity that leaves you dirty and ashamed afterward. The fact that it's a SIN makes it all the more reason to put it out of your mind.

Gal. 5
[16] This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
[17] For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.


Heaven and Hell are certainties. Why risk your eternal soul for a few moments of unsatisfying and unnecessary work?


Well Duh ...No wonder YOU feel this way... With your screen name it's obvious somebody following Biblical instruction, cut you off and threw you away.

Praise Be Amen.

Brother Barnabus 04-21-2010 03:50 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
As noted by the infraction.... I have shamed myself by insulting a True Christian. I apologize to Mr.The Hand. I prostrate myself before this hallowed assemblage so that ye may let the spittle,slings and arrows fly as they so righteously should. I'll then take my upstart , lowly self and slink off to a darkened corner where I shall contemplate and reflect upon the error of my ways and seek the resolve to sin no more.

Amen.:(

P.S. I also apologize to Bible Thumpin' Blonde for besmirching her thread with my presence on it.

Bob4God 04-21-2010 05:02 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde (Post 511757)
Sperm is literally being spewed out in to the air we breath?

I have just been stricken by a frightening thought: What if this means that the large, billowing clouds of gas and ash are full of AIDs?

Of course most people in Europe already have AIDs, but what if it drifts over to America? We won't be able to go outside or run air conditioners for months!

What if that volcano was actually set off by Icelandic extremists to infect the world with AIDs? We need to contact the FBI about this!

Robert Jones 04-21-2010 08:47 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
All I can say is consider these facts by well known medical professionals regarding Onanism.

Quote:

Testimony of Eminent Authors. -- Says a medical writer, "In my opinion, neither the plague, nor war, nor small-pox, nor similar diseases, have produced results so disastrous to humanity as the pernicious habit of Onanism; it is the destroying element of civilized societies, which is constantly in action, and gradually undermines the health of a nation."
Quote:

"The sin of self-pollution, which is generally considered to be that of Onan, is one of the most destructive evils ever practiced by fallen man. In many respects it is several degrees worse than common whoredom, and has in its train more awful consequences, though practiced by numbers who would shudder at the thought of criminal connection with a prostitute."[15] [15] Dr. Adam Clarke.

qamarun 04-21-2010 09:02 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde (Post 511711)
If you are a male (as most masturbators are)


This is not true. EVERYBODY does it. Both men AND women, same frequency, no difference. Other than bleeding problems once a month, which gives men a bit of advantage. But everybody does it, and it's completely natural thing to do.

Bruno 04-21-2010 09:05 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512157)
This is not true. EVERYBODY does it. Both men AND women, same frequency, no difference. Other than bleeding problems once a month, which gives men a bit of advantage. But everybody does it, and it's completely natural thing to do.

i agree on the part that everybody does it not just MOSTLY males.. in fact i think women might do it more than men..

Robert Jones 04-21-2010 09:09 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512157)
This is not true. EVERYBODY does it. Both men AND women, same frequency, no difference. Other than bleeding problems once a month, which gives men a bit of advantage. But everybody does it, and it's completely natural thing to do.

What an absolute lie! You will not find one TrueChristian™ who would
ever partake in an such abomination.

Genesis 38:9-10

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground,lest that he should give seed to his brother:

And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

qamarun 04-21-2010 09:12 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde (Post 511711)
Matthew 5:30 30
And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into HELL. :devil:

There's something off with this sentence... If you have already sinned, isn't it too late to cut your hand off? Aren't you going to Hell anyway? :unsure:


Quote:

Originally Posted by Robert Jones (Post 512162)
What an absolute lie! You will not find one TrueChristian™ who would
ever partake in an such abomination.

Correction: I will not find one "true Christian" who would ever ADMIT doing so, but everybody does that, mate, everybody does that.

Bruno 04-21-2010 09:14 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512164)
There's something off with this sentence... If you have already sinned, isn't it too late to cut your hand off? Aren't you going to Hell anyway? :unsure:




Correction: I will not find one "true Christian" who would ever ADMIT doing so, but everybody does that, mate, everybody does that.

dude get ready to be flamed out of your mind.. for some reason some of the people here dont take well to criticism

Robert Jones 04-21-2010 09:15 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512164)
Correction: I will not find one "true Christian" who would ever ADMIT doing so, but everybody does that, mate, everybody does that.

I suppose you have a habit of going door to door, climbing trees, and hiding the water closets while observing onanistic practices to make such outrageous claims? :fear2:

qamarun 04-21-2010 09:22 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno (Post 512165)
dude get ready to be flamed out of your mind.. for some reason some of the people here dont take well to criticism

Yea, I figured as much, and got used to it. It won't stop me from speaking my mind, though. Nothing could ever stop me from speaking my mind, loud and clear :D

Oompa-loompa 04-21-2010 09:29 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

For 30 seconds of pleasure you will spend an ETERNITY in HELL.
30 seconds? More like 15 minutes (at least).

The Hand 04-21-2010 09:42 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512164)
There's something off with this sentence... If you have already sinned, isn't it too late to cut your hand off? Aren't you going to Hell anyway? :unsure:

Did you eat a bowl of stupid this morning? Which words are you struggling with? It seems straightforward to me. If you cannot control your beastly urges and your hand is causing you to sin, it's better to cut it off than risk the fires of HELL. Of course, it's better to not sin at all, and then you wont have to cut anything off. Sin may be forgiven if you are repentant in your heart of hearts and change your ways NOW!

1Jon. 1
[7] But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.


Come to Jesus!

qamarun 04-21-2010 09:45 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
I guess the sense of humour is lost on you guys :lol:

The Hand 04-21-2010 09:48 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
You're just very very unfunny. It's like it's intentional.

Bruno 04-21-2010 10:05 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512202)
I guess the sense of humour is lost on you guys :lol:

This thread is full of I am retarded:D

The Hand 04-21-2010 10:08 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Look, this isn't a place for you two homers to get to know each other better.

This is a house of GOD. Show some respect.

Bruno 04-21-2010 10:11 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Hand (Post 512234)
Look, this isn't a place for you two homers to get to know each other better.

This is a house of GOD. Show some respect.

Learn to live and laugh dude. Let people have there opinions

The Hand 04-21-2010 10:26 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Well ok then, if you want to giggle like schoolgirls in a serious discussion, I'll leave you to it.

Wake me up when these two second-rate Godmockers have departed.

Nobar King 04-21-2010 10:32 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno (Post 512240)
Learn to live and laugh dude. Let people have there opinions

Do you mean three opinions? Are you like a genie?

Bruno 04-21-2010 10:44 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 512266)
Do you mean three opinions? Are you like a genie?

oh look who made a funny..
looks like this place isnt as dry as i thought

Bobby-Joe 04-22-2010 03:34 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno (Post 512273)
oh look who made a funny..
looks like this place isnt as dry as i thought

Perhaps we do have a sense of humor, however this forum isn't about just making a few cheep jokes.

Sidoain 04-23-2010 02:56 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Wow, so much ex masturbator in that forum. Dont deny the faq that you killed over 600 million human souls. No, its too late, you already killed, you go to hell. Dont pretend that it never happen, we recognize you as an ex masturbator. If ex mastubator are saved, then il make sure to be an ex mastubator for more then a week before my death and il be save too.

Praise Jesus!!!:yahoo:

Robert Jones 04-23-2010 03:07 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidoain (Post 513104)
Wow, so much ex masturbator in that forum. Dont deny the faq that you killed over 600 million human souls. No, its too late, you already killed, you go to hell. Dont pretend that it never happen, we recognize you as an ex masturbator. If ex mastubator are saved, then il make sure to be an ex mastubator for more then a week before my death and il be save too.

Praise Jesus!!!:yahoo:

We were born anew when we became True Christians™.

2 Corinthians 5:16-17: Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more: Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

God will have His day with you. :furious::haha:

Seth Campbell 04-23-2010 03:37 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Is this really the proper thing to be discussing in a Christian forum?

Godder 04-23-2010 03:10 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BIGs_Boss (Post 513136)
Is this really the proper thing to be discussing in a Christian forum?


no its not, i can't believe how many masturbators are on this site
frankly it has me questioning how many people on here are true Christians.

The Hand 04-23-2010 03:15 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
You might want to take a little look at the forum title before you complain:

Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Mother Glendora. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Daisy Mae Johnson 07-15-2010 05:15 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
I think we need to have a Pastor go down to Paper Tiger XXX Adult shop on Indian Scalped Road and have an intervention with the men who plan on going in and watching the girls dance and then spilling their seed on the floor. Just imagine all the baby sperm souls just stuck there on the sticky floor and the bottom of Ming perverts shoes!

Someone needs to help these spermie children! :fear2:

handmaiden 07-15-2010 06:07 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512202)
I guess the sense of humour is lost on you guys :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno (Post 512273)
oh look who made a funny..
looks like this place isnt as dry as i thought

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 512771)
Perhaps we do have a sense of humor, however this forum isn't about just making a few cheep jokes.

Ha. Ha. Ha. You are going to burn eternally in hell. Funny stuff, eh?

There is nothing funny about the threat of hell. We are here, opening our hearts to offer you a glimpse of the Truth as presented in the Bible. The Bible ain't a giggle fest, my friend.

God has many, many things to say in the Bible -- things about Himself and His true nature, things about the nature of mankind and how He would prefer that we behave, and things about what happens after this mortal realm.

An orgasm -(pardon me Brothers for being so painfully frank) can last for a minute or two. The sheer, agonzing pain of burning flame will last forever. The unconceived souls that are virtually pissed away will be screaming besides you. How can you do that to them? How can you throw away the chance to live eternally in the Light of Jesus and instead choose to endure unending scorching, skin-peeling, searing PAIN!?

When the urge to grab your own goods comes over you, light a match and let the flame burn down until it singes your fingers. Imagine that pain magnified a millionfold. You will find your answer. A burnt finger or two -or three-- is better than an abused-- self-abused -- tallywacker and an eternity of engulfing flame--(which is never funny to the engulfee, though perhaps entertaining for any spectators about).

helpfully yours,

Handmaiden

Daisy Mae Johnson 09-04-2010 09:45 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Want proof that GOD will smite those who play with themselves?

GOD sent an alligator to chomp this young man hands off! you "play" you pay!

http://www.animalseatinganimals.com/...an-off-in.html

:o :lol: :jesussmile:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_X1IWXuEbgX...tor+attack.jpg

Zarek49 10-05-2010 04:33 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Yes. Yes it is. :sarcasm: I bet nobody took into account that masturbation is good for your health. I mean really. If it prevents prostate cancer then by all means. Also, you think hell would be full by now. On a side note, don't pin most masturbation on men. 87% of women masturbate. True story. Also, what of those who are Buddhist? Hellenistic pagans? I'm sure not everybody is gonna end up like these guys here: :lex_12: But seriously. was this not in the old testament? And besides. You gotta take into account, when 1 male fires off once, that's millions of sperm. Multiply that but the vast amount of males that do it and how often, I don't think even Hell has that much room.

Jedediah 10-05-2010 04:52 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarek49 (Post 610823)
But seriously. was this not in the old testament?

Yes, self abuse is mentioned very early in the Holy Bible. Read these verses to see what happened when Onan spilled his seed for purposes other than making children.

Genesis 38:7-10
And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.
And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.


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