The Landover Baptist Church Forum - There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church!

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There are NO RAMPS in God's Favorite Church!

My Church does not have ramps for cripples!
...for the Bible does not call for special rights for sinful gimps!

My Church does not have parking spaces for cripples!
...for why would we want to encourage unsaved cripples to drive a car?

My Church does not provide hymnal books in braille!
...for who wants to hear heathen blind people sing?

My Church does not employ spastics to perform "sign language"!
...for we do not put on a slapstick comedy show in God's house!

Whenever I am asked why we do not make accommodations for such people, I sternly issue this rebuke, "We do not cater to SINNERS, at Landover Baptist Chrurch!"

This may come as a shock to many of you, as it is far removed from the "politically correct" pablum that you've been forcefed all your lives. But God Almighty never bothered with being "P.C.", and neither shall I!

I am reminded of a time when I visited an Episcopalian church some time ago. The minister, as is custom, faces the altar with his blessings and then turns to the congregation stating, "May the Lord be with you", with the congregation replying, "And also with you". Well, on this occasion, the minister's microphone was not working properly and he turned around, patting the mike on his lapel saying, "There's something wrong with this thing.", and thus the people seated therein replied, "And also with you"!

I just about died laughing. :lol2:

While an amusing anecdote, it also teaches an important lesson. There WAS something wrong with this false minister, and the way he conducted his false church! While I was sitting in that church, I noticed up front there was a lady flashing what looked like gang symbols to the front few rows, with each person in turn flashing back symbols as if they were some sort of demented air traffic controller! It was very distracting to those of us wishing to sincerely and properly praise Jesus. My host next to me explained their church offered service for the "hearing impaired" as if it were something to brag about. I was appalled. :o

Next, and most shocking, towards the end of the service when the minister offered communion to the servers, I noticed one of them was a little off-kilter... to say the least. Shorter than the rest of them, with sloped shoulders and a bowl haircut which barely was able to contain the large cowlick in the back of his head, he wore unfitted clothing which went out of style over a decade ago. Worse still, a large, silly grin beamed on his face from ear to ear below his upturned nose and his out of place eyes on his tiny little head. He was drooling and he smelled something awful.

It was clear this boy was one of those retardeds.

Well, I had just had it! Even if I had not already been planning on refusing to take bread and wine from this apostate church, I certainly would have avoided it upon seeing this drooling fool! Was this minister wrong???? Goodness! He could only get MORE wrong by inviting a bus load of nigra buck rapists and drug pushers from the local prison into his church!

I stood up on my seat, addressing the minister in my clear, commanding voice (aided by the bullhorn I had concealed) so that all his congregation could hear of their abominations and iniquities, and rebuked the SNOT out of him, so that he was left a pathetic stuttering schoolboy (and I noticed that the young retarded had wet his pants) when I exposed this mockery for what it was!

When my good work was complete, I stormed out of that false church and have not set foot in one again! Praise Jesus!!

Where did this minister go wrong, you might ask? Well, as your True Christian™ Pastor, let me enlighten you!

There can be no doubt the Lord does not want any sinners fouling up the pristine air where His true followers meet for fellowship and worship. Hence our motto "Unsaved = Unwelcome."

2 Cor.6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Titus 3:10-11
A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject;
Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself.

Romans 16:17
Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

What good could possibly come of inviting a sinner to church??? Inviting unclean thought into the House of the Lord is only inviting trouble, as all the sinner can think about is having his way with the decent, pious, True Christian™ ladies and how he can steal some money out of the collection plate!

What does this have to do with the cripples? EVERYTHING! :angry:

The term "disabled" or "handicapped" was invented by the no-good, lying members of the demoncrat party and the lieberal media! These terms were invented to sugar-coat the dregs of our population and trick Christians into seeing them as "poor innocent victims" instead of what they really are; and that is CURSED SINNERS!

Oh yes, they might look at you with sorrowful and cute doe eyes, and smile their drooling donkey grins, but make no mistake about it: If these people had their full senses and abilities, you would be strung up and at their perverted mercy before two shakes of a stick! There is a reason for everything, folks! And there is an awfully good reason the Lord smited these heathens! They do not deserve our "coddling", they deserve our SCORN and REJECTION! Amen!

These people are guilty of horrible, horrible crimes and thus are forced to pay for their crimes (or their ancestor's crimes) while here on the earth, as well as in HELL!

It is not a "shame", a "tragedy" or "bad luck" they turn out this way... It is no accident, don't be fooled! We are talking about God's Will!

Exodus 4:11
And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?

Exodus 20:5
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

Whether they were aware of it or not, these folks (or their parents or distant ancestor) greatly displeased the Lord, and thus, invited His glorious wrath down upon themselves and all their unfortunate descendants!

Leviticus 5:17
And if a soul sin, and commit any of these things which are forbidden to be done by the commandments of the LORD; though he wist it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity.

Behind those glazed or unseeing eyes, folks, lies the souls of PURE evil! Evil often molded by SATAN himself! The blind, deaf and dumb (and DUMMIES) are satan's own "wolves in sheep's clothing"! Who better to get us to lower our guard than some blind beggar asking for change, or some imbecile drooling on himself and bouncing into walls???

The Lord warns us of these people! To not heed His warning is to invite sin upon ourselves!

Leviticus 21:16-17
... Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous

Throughout the ages, the Lord has cursed sinners with horrible plagues, boils, halitosis, leprosy and other such maladies! Unless you want to be caught in His loving net of vengeance, I suggest you STAY AWAY!

2 Kings 6:18
And when they came down to him, Elisha prayed unto the LORD, and said, Smite this people, I pray thee, with blindness. And he smote them with blindness according to the word of Elisha.

Zephaniah 1:17
And I will bring distress upon men, that they shall walk like blind men, because they have sinned against the LORD: and their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as the dung.

These "people" had their chance at redemption before the Lord a LONG time ago! It is not yours or my business to preach the Gospel to them, as they only seek to mock it! And the retardeds can't understand a word you say anyhow!

These "people" belong in prisons and guarded hospital-camps where we are safe from them. I encourage all True Christians™ to forget about the politically correct "tolerance" they have been taught (by the joos who run the mass media) when it comes to these demented souls. Disregard it when someone might say, "they are just like you, they're people with feelings, too". Well they're not "JUST LIKE YOU" or they'd be able to see, hear and talk like a normal human being, now wouldn't they??? These people are clearly of the devil and there are no "ifs, ands or buts" about it!

God Bless and keep an eye out for these servants of perdition! Glory!!