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-   -   Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=104995)

Witch Hammer 03-06-2015 06:32 AM

Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
Seriously!

What better way to thumb our noses at the Christ-killing joos? He is Risen®, so IN YOUR FACE!!...amen?

This Easter, my family and I will be glutting on bacon-wrapped ham that has been deep fried in hog lard, and slathered in pork sausage gravy.:drool:
I am all atwitter with anticipation!

So eat til it hurts, brethren...don't stop until the pork pack starts backing up into your nasal cavity. If the spirit moves you, set up camp in front of a jooish temple and make a scene.
http://rlv.zcache.com/pork_fat_rules..._va6lr_512.jpg
Let's show Jesus how much we care!

Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson 03-07-2015 12:32 AM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
My husband just killed a small hog (200 lbs) and I've cooked it for dinner. For Easter, there's going to be pork everywhere. And once my husband has eaten all he can, and he's ordered me to as I can, he's leading all of my entire church out to vomit all over the local mosque. Then we will do round two all over the temple. And then, since we will all have room in our stomachs', we'll end of the night with large pork, ham, bacon, and lard pies. I'm using dried pork as a crust and will be happy to share over private message or the ladies' forums my recipe, if anyone is interested. :)

Witch Hammer 03-08-2015 02:08 AM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson (Post 1137619)
My husband just killed a small hog (200 lbs) and I've cooked it for dinner. For Easter, there's going to be pork everywhere. And once my husband has eaten all he can, and he's ordered me to as I can, he's leading all of my entire church out to vomit all over the local mosque. Then we will do round two all over the temple. And then, since we will all have room in our stomachs', we'll end of the night with large pork, ham, bacon, and lard pies. I'm using dried pork as a crust and will be happy to share over private message or the ladies' forums my recipe, if anyone is interested. :)

Your grace is amazing, Sister Johnson. May I suggest, though, that you walk that extra mile for Christ and have your entire congregation defecate on the front steps of those vile institutions the day after Easter?

Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson 03-08-2015 02:24 AM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Witch Hammer (Post 1137739)
Your grace is amazing, Sister Johnson. May I suggest, though, that you walk that extra mile for Christ and have your entire congregation defecate on the front steps of those vile institutions the day after Easter?

Of course, I'll mention it to my husband. Jesus walked thousands of steps for me, I'll happily take another one for Him. :innocent:

Witch Hammer 03-08-2015 02:42 AM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson (Post 1137741)
Of course, I'll mention it to my husband. Jesus walked thousands of steps for me, I'll happily take another one for Him. :innocent:

Amen. He carries our burden for us...why shouldn't we drop our load for Him?:innocent:

Bjorn Jensen 03-08-2015 04:58 AM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
Me too, I'm going to eat pork the whole week and I'm especially going to enjoy it on Good Friday, just to have a dig at the paptists at the same time! Could it get any better than angering PETA, the joos, the mooselimbs and the paptists at the same time by just eating delicious meat?

And don't forget to put these in everything you drink

http://s4.thcdn.com/productimg/0/600...538-830197.jpg

Alex_Reynolds 03-10-2015 09:36 AM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
I have a question. Why can't you be a homosexual AND a Christian? I find it ironic to say God loves everyone he creates, yet he "hates" homosexuals. I don't get it. :bye:

Jim Farmer 03-10-2015 10:18 AM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex_Reynolds (Post 1138017)
I have a question. Why can't you be a homosexual AND a Christian? I find it ironic to say God loves everyone he creates, yet he "hates" homosexuals. I don't get it. :bye:

A good question, Alexis, if you have never read the Bible, which I assume you haven't. Quite simply, God doesn't love everyone he creates. God hates liars. He hates adulterers. He hates fornicators. He hates sodomisers. He hates lots of people. It doesn't say in the Bible that he loves everyone. That's what the fluffy bunny churches would have you believe. They want you to think that God loves everyone so that you'll give them money believing that you'll go to Heaven. Those churches are frauds - they are false churches. Making promises that they know are false and that they can never be brought to account upon in a court of law.

Now, go on over to the Introduction section and tell us all about your journey with God, and which false church you attend.

Des 03-10-2015 10:42 PM

Re: Honor Jesus this Easter by devouring Ham until you PUKE!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex_Reynolds (Post 1138017)
I have a question. Why can't you be a homosexual AND a Christian? I find it ironic to say God loves everyone he creates, yet he "hates" homosexuals. I don't get it. :bye:

It disgusts me how a homer reads the word 'pork' and his mind automatically goes to sodomy.


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