Let's rewrite the history textbooks using SJW rules
 

Did you know that Franklin Roosevelt once bullied a vegetarian immigrant until the vegetarian immigrant committed suicide?

It's true. Granted, I left out lots of information, and it depends on what you think "bullied" means. The fact that the victim was a vegetarian immigrant might not have anything to do with anything.

None of these problems ever stopped an SJW though. So, let's make a thread full of the sort of historical insights one can achieve by applying SJW methods to True Christian history.

Edit:

I'm having a hard time getting my idea across. Maybe we should forget about textbooks and talk about news headlines instead.

I can't count how many times I've seen a headline that reads "Police shoot black man" or "Border hassles Muslim" or "Politician hurts feelings of transvestite".

It's all "bad thing happens to protected person" or more likely "unprotected person has conflict with protected person".

Why the bad thing happened to the protected person doesn't matter. What the conflict is about, who is at fault...Doesn't matter.

It's like the media has granted diplomatic immunity to 90% of the world's population.

So, my vegetarian immigrant example. Of course, the proper SJW response would be to point out that Roosevelt is a cripple, which gives him diplomatic immunity also.

Then the Oppression Olympics begins in earnest. Next we say Hitler doesn't count as an immigrant because Austria isn't so different from Germany, and because Germany never really oppressed Austria.

Cue a lot of bitter recriminations and resurrected ancient hatreds as the Austro-Prussian war is brought up, lots of squabbling over who was the shirker and who was propping whom up in WW1. Who did more massacres against whom during the 30 years war?

Let's pretend that our SJWs conclude that both countries oppressed each other equally throughout history. So we will compare skin color. Austria is slightly to the south of Germany, doesn't that mean they are slightly darker skinned? It might only be by a freckle or two, but this is SKIN COLOR we are talking about here. This is important to SJWs.

Pretending that our SJWs move on from skin color (HA! Like that would happen!) religion comes up. Roosevelt is a Protestant, Hitler is a Catholic who hangs out with a lot of weird pagan types.

Sexuality: Roosevelt has a wife, making him an oppressor. Hitler is strangely single. Does this mean he has nerd-privilege? No, women were crazy about Hitler. He could have had the sex life of a rock star, yet chose not to. Definitely a sexual minority.

Class: HAHAHAHA! Like SJWs would think that money has any influence on power. Moving on...

...No, let's pretend that there's an old-school marxist in our group of SJWs. He (of course it's a he) points out that Roosevelt was born a wealthy North-Easterner whereas Hitler spent much of his life as a bum, he was born lower-middle class in a marginal small town - literally marginal, it was on a border. "Gotcha" says the pro-Roosevelt faction "Hitler's father was a BORDER GUARD!" The sins of the father fall upon the son in SJW-land.

But what if Hitler's father was secretly looking the other way while illegal immigrants snuck in? After all, Hitler had some big plans to bring immigrants into Russia - it involved replacing the people who already lived in Russia, but no SJW would ever complain about white people getting replaced. Shortly after taking power, he had some plans that involved bringing immigration to Madagascar, or perhaps Palesti - oops! Zionism is an instant-loss condition, so it's time for a subject change: Hitler was useful ally to a Hispanic friend (Franco), and a friend of Palestine, an ally of Indian independence, in fact the Axis powers did more to cause decolonization than anything else did.

"But that's just allydom, that doesn't count. It's like saying you have black friends, everybody knows that's just more proof that you're racist. Especially being allied with east-Asians, everybody knows they count as white for SJW purposes. Did you know that Korean shopkeepers try to stop shoplifters, even when the shoplifters are black?"

At this point Someone reminds the old-school Marxist of his skin color (2 hours of counting confirms that he has 12 less freckles than the others) and as he hangs his head in shame, a woman-with-a-penis accuses him of oogling her (hairy) chest. After much drama and #metoo-ing we return to the oppression Olympics.

Next event: the vegetarian thing. Hitler had a pet dog, making him an enslaver of animals. But on the other hand, Roosevelt's family includes Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt, who would not only hunt animals, he would, like a horror-movie psycho, keep their skins and stuff them. It's where the name "Teddy bear" comes from. Yes, the very same Teddy Bears we have right here IN THIS SAFE SPACE!

Cue another round of recriminations as we try to figure out who suggested the ritual re-enactment of animal mutilation be allowed in the safe space. There is a long tangent over whether one of the bears looks like it's in blackface.

Re: Let's rewrite the history textbooks using SJW rules
 

Great idea, Brother Thurmond--One thing we all agree on, history needs to be correct. Only by incorporating what everyone knows about it can we be certain it reflects the past accurately.

Let's start with God and race. The founding fathers of our country were devout Christians. They embraced slavery. This means God did not consider the races to be equal, white best, dark worst. This lesson from history can be helpful today to understand the patriotic stand of President Trump against allowing more of the darker races into the U. S.

All of this hand wringing over what the President said must be put into its correct historical context.

Re: Let's rewrite the history textbooks using SJW rules
 

That is an excellent example, Brother Jeb. Nonetheless, looking at American history textbooks, these have already been written in a very True Christian™ way - leaving out the unimportant details.

An example of a True Christian™ job already done is the idea that the American democracy comes from ancient Greece - an idea which overlooks the fact that in ancient Athens, some 5% of the adult population was actually allowed to participate in their elections, and also ignoring such unimportant details as the Iroquois confederacy and their customs regrading choosing and impeaching leaders.

Re: Let's rewrite the history textbooks using SJW rules
 

Greeks are mostly known for sodomy, and Red Indians are mostly known for hostility to immigrants. So of course the textbooks will side with the Greeks.

Re: Let's rewrite the history textbooks using SJW rules
 

I heard from a very reliable:thumbsup: source that the Carter family actually invented peanut butter but that nigra :watermelon: Carver (note the similarity in names-Coicidence?:o I think not skippy:angry:).

Like with the Holy Bible, I do not think history needs to rewritten as much as it needs to be followed accurately. We all know :god-fancy: is a 7' tall white male with hair the color of spun Gold and eyes bluer than the deepest ocean with a love and concerting strength that makes mortal man squeamish.

Serious, a nigras inventing something? Bahaaa :rofl3: Stealing it from a decent family?:ph34r: Absolutely.

Re: Let's rewrite the history textbooks using SJW rules
 

Taught about Lord Shaftesbury and as a child myself, I was impressed at his efforts as a senior aristocrat to free enslaved children from mines in England.

Quote:

Following the death of 26 children in a coal mine accident in 1838, the public became concerned about child labour in coal mines and so Queen Victoria ordered an inquiry. It was headed by Lord Shaftsbury. Teams of inspectors, called commissioners, visited collieries and mining communities to gather information about how they were being treated, sometimes against the owner's wishes. The published report in 1842 used engraved illustrations to show the conditions children faced and Victorian society was shocked. http://history.parkfieldict.co.uk/_/...=158&width=400

I was lied to. Phallocrats never act in the interests of others. The single example of education is all I need. As in any plutocracy what we do is follow the money. First of all, by restricting household income, women were further disadvantaged. Next, by educating the sons, cunning schemes were evolved with new and crueller weapons to advance the cause of Imperialism.

Quote:

Later that year, Lord Shaftsbury passed the 1842 Mines and Collieries Act through the House of Commons which prohibited all underground work for women and girls, and for boys under 10. Next, Lord Shaftsbury led a campaign for a reduction in the hours that children worked in textile factories, which led to the 1847 Factories Act being introduced. It was also known as the 'Ten Hour Act' as it set the limit that women and children could not work for more than ten hours per day. Lord Shaftsbury was also interested in education for working children. In 1844 he became chair of the Ragged Schools Union - an organisation that set up free schools for poor children run with charity money, and helped to pass the 1878 Factory and Workshop Act. This introduced new laws for every trade and business in the country: . . .• No child anywhere under the age of 10 was to be employed. . . .• Education was to be compulsory for children up to 10 years old. . . .• 10-14 year olds could only be employed for half days.

The stage was set for Anglo-American hegemony of brobdingnagian proportions. Wrested from the care of their now impoverished mothers, newly educated boys could project their nasty little minds into ever more sophisticated killing machines. In 5 short years the means to extract more than just land from a once peaceful continent had been perfected: Maxim machine guns were patented in 1883. No wonder the "education" was compulsory! Male reformers were not doing this for anyone but themselves and what they lusted after more than anything fell so easily into their grasp.

Genocide diamonds paved the way for ever greater exploitation. Within a decade, Cecil Rhodes was mowing down heroes in Matabeleland, setting up De Beers and now we watch as the whole world grinds down under the hobnailed jackboot of white male privilege. Coincidence? Nothing is a coincidence.

Quote:

Lord Shaftsbury died on 1st October 1885.

Now I know what I was not taught. Such selective lesson plans cannot be devised by accident. Therefore it was done deliberately. And if it was done deliberately we were lied to. Who benefited from these lies of omission? Certainly not the Ndebele peoples. This is what happens when phallocentric hegemonists are allowed to set up education systems. It is time to stand up and say "No!"