The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php)
-   Landover Baptist Lounge (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=23)
-   -   "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=106675)

Witch Hammer 08-08-2015 01:26 AM

"A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Jesus hates a variety of things, so many in fact, that anyone short of a Biblical scholar can have trouble keeping track of them all. I thought it might be handy to have a mnemonic available for reference by the spiritually challenged...if this goes well, I might have this printed and bound into a childrens' book. Obviously, Jesus passionately despises far more than just 26 things, so feel free to go as many rounds as you like.

"A" is for Anal Sex:ph34r:
Leviticus 20:13

Roland 08-08-2015 02:21 AM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
B is for Bastards, I am pretty sure Jesus hates them too: Deuteronomy 23:2 and Hebrews 12:8.

Elmer G. White 08-08-2015 02:43 AM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
C. Contraception. :angry:

Genesis 1:28
And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.


This includes Condoms and please bear in mind that according to Genesis 1:22 contraception is also prohibited from those of the Created Avian kind.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

PS. Can we be sure that Jesus is not saddened as He has to read about all these hateful and repulsive things as He is busy doing Rapture preparations.

Elmer G. White 08-08-2015 02:47 AM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
D... :(

http://www.oddballdaily.com/wp-conte...-NL-Canada.jpg

Leviticus 19:4
Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 03:03 AM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
D is clearly for DEMONs and DEVILs, which is a group so foul that they are hated by Jesus, who battled them fiercely on a daily bass, even turning a flock of them into pigs one time! I LOVE thtstory!! :wizard:

Quote:

Mark 5:1 And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes.
5:2 And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,
5:3 Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:
5:4 Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.
5:5 And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.
5:6 But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him,
5:7 And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not.
5:8 For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.
5:9 And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.
5:10 And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country.
5:11 Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding.
5:12 And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them.
5:13 And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand) and were choked in the sea.
5:14 And they that fed the swine fled, and told it in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done.
5:15 And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.


alooneymormon 08-08-2015 01:34 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Education.

Alvin Moss 08-08-2015 01:44 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Fornication. 1 Corinthians 6:18

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 06:22 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
God hates goths with a passion. :rtfm:

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 06:28 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
God hates Homersexurals, that much is clear.

Quote:

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Lev.20:13

Witch Hammer 08-08-2015 07:58 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Immigrants.
Nehemiah 4:17

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 08:02 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Joos :joo:

Acts 14: 1-5 :rtfm:

Didymus Much 08-08-2015 08:22 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Kosher.

Genesis 9:3 "Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things."

Alvin Moss 08-08-2015 09:00 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Galatians 5:19 Lasciviousness.

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 09:32 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Menstruation :bad:

Leviticus 15:19-30

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 09:38 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Nigras :watermelon:

Didymus Much 08-08-2015 09:41 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Onanism.

Genesis 38:9 "And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother."

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 09:54 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Other gods :thumbdown:

Jeremiah 1:16

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 10:50 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Papists :thumbdown:

Quote:

Revelations 19:12 His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.
19:13 And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God.
19:14 And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.
19:15 And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.
19:16 And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.


Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 11:05 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
THIS I know for sure: God HATES the Quran. It is book written by and for demons. :thumbdown:


Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2015 11:16 PM

Re: "A" is for Anal Sex: 26 Things Jesus Hates, in Alphabetical Order
 
Religious Tolerance :thumbdown:

Deuteronomy 13:6-10


All times are GMT. The time now is 09:54 AM.

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved