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  • The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

    Friends, I know this might be a delicate subject, but I was just enjoying some whiskey with the ladies on the Steering Committee, and we got to talking about the considerable financial challenges our church faces in the coming fiscal year, and, well, I'm sure you all know we're going to have a heck of a time balancing our budget.

    At present, the church is operating with an ongoing structural deficit of approximately $1 million per year. Growing our membership, and being better about making sure everybody tithes at the appropriate amount, is clearly part of the solution.

    However, I've looked at the numbers, and I feel it would be irresponsible of us not to include Pastor Zeke's compensation package among the areas where we might employ a little belt-tightening.

    For example, he is allocated $6,000 per year for auto lease payments, and his leased Cadillac Escalade is traded in every two years for a new one. And he gets $4,000 per year for gasoline.



    What I'm thinking is it would probably be pretty painless for him if, when the lease is up on his current Caddy, which costs $500 per month, we were to trade it in on something like a Ford Fusion Hybrid...



    ...which can be leased for $300 per month. That right there saves us $2,400 per year just on lease payments, and when you consider the fact that the Fusion Hybrid gets 47mpg vs. the Cadillac's 14mpg, we'd be saving at least another $3,000 on Zeke's gas bill.

    And that's not the only savings I can see us realizing in the transportation area of Zeke's expenses. For example, instead of sending him to his yearly golf junket in Dubai, why not have him enjoy some golf courses closer to home?



    Anyway, I just thought this was something we should maybe consider. I love Pastor Zeke with all my heart, and I know he works very hard, but I know he also loves this church more than he loves his own life, and I'm sure he would not want to ever feel like his expenses were unduly burdening this fine organization.
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  • #2
    Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

    JAYSUSSS is all powerful but he needs your money!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

      Originally posted by TheLittleBoy View Post
      JAYSUSSS is all powerful but he needs your money!
      Nobody asked for your opinion, you little tulip! How can you even see this thread? I thought I posted it with the privacy set to "church members only!"

      I sure hope you're not hacking us!

      WARNING:
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      • #4
        Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

        Originally posted by TheLittleBoy View Post
        JAYSUSSS is all powerful but he needs your money!
        Who mentioned "JAYSUSSS" (sic) anyway?

        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

          A simple question: As seen in the original post. Why does the church budget goes to luxurious cars for a pastor instead of the church well being? Isn't luxury a sin ? James 5:5 . Sounds like a con.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

            Originally posted by TheLittleBoy View Post
            A simple question: As seen in the original post. Why does the church budget goes to luxurious cars for a pastor instead of the church well being? Isn't luxury a sin ? James 5:5 . Sounds like a con.
            Pastors who do their job well are worthy of double pay. In the passage below, the word "honour" means "pay." Clearly, God doesn't expect pastors to endure an austere lifestyle.

            1 Tim 5:17-18 Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine. For the scripture saith, thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And, The labourer is worthy of his reward.

            God has ordained that pastors should earn their living from preaching the Gospel (v 14).

            1 Cor 9:9-14
            9 For it is written in the law of Moses, thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn. Doth God take care for oxen?
            10 Or saith he it altogether for our sakes? For our sakes, no doubt, this is written: that he that ploweth should plow in hope; and that he that thresheth in hope should be partaker of his hope.
            11 If we have sown unto you spiritual things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things?
            12 If others be partakers of this power over you, are not we rather? Nevertheless we have not used this power; but suffer all things, lest we should hinder the gospel of Christ.
            13 Do ye not know that they which minister about holy things live of the things of the temple? and they which wait at the altar are partakers with the altar?
            14 Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live of the gospel.

            Gal 6:6 Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things.
            sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

            Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

              Originally posted by Faith_Machine
              However, I've looked at the numbers, and I feel it would be irresponsible of us not to include Pastor Zeke's compensation package among the areas where we might employ a little belt-tightening.


              something like a Ford Fusion Hybrid...


              Brother. I'm sad to note you choose to no longer wanting to be a part of our congregation. I don't know what happened between you and Pastor Zeke, and perhaps the whisky didn't become you, but for you to be this cruel - for anyone to read!!!! - and even hint at the hardest working Pastor on this planet (and thus on all planets that exist) being forced to make do with a hyb.. hyb... I can't say it!

              Truly truly shocking.
              Psalm 81:10:
              I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
              open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                The Brothers and sisters of the Landover Baptist Church look To Pastor Zeke to lead us to the gates of heaven. I, for one, believe he should become used to the grander things here so he is not overwhelmed on our trail to Heaven.
                Reading Revelations 21:10-27 tells everyone how grand Heaven will be and I do not believe that a bigger car is nothing close to that wonderful thought.
                Revelation 21:10-27King James Version (KJV)

                10 And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God,
                11 Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;
                12 And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel:
                13 On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates.
                14 And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
                15 And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof.
                16 And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal.
                17 And he measured the wall thereof, an hundred and forty and four cubits, according to the measure of a man, that is, of the angel.
                18 And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass.
                19 And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald;
                20 The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolyte; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst.
                21 And the twelve gates were twelve pearls: every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
                22 And I saw no temple therein: for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it.
                23 And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof.
                24 And the nations of them which are saved shall walk in the light of it: and the kings of the earth do bring their glory and honour into it.
                25 And the gates of it shall not be shut at all by day: for there shall be no night there.
                26 And they shall bring the glory and honour of the nations into it.
                27 And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life.
                sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                  Originally posted by TheLittleBoy View Post
                  A simple question: As seen in the original post. Why does the church budget goes to luxurious cars for a pastor instead of the church well being? Isn't luxury a sin ? James 5:5 . Sounds like a con.
                  Hello TheLittleBoy.

                  Pastor Ezekiel came down to help me with my estate planning because my children do not talk to me since I started walking with Jesus Christ.

                  It may look like he is rich because he has a very nice airplane and a telephone that takes pictures but when I asked him about that he laughed and said Boy the church owns all of that I'm just taking it all for a spin and I'm gone give it back just like Psalms 37 says.

                  I am not a boy he likes to joke around he smells like Aqua Velva.

                  Thank you.

                  Rusty
                  Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                    Friends, hold on a second! I just don't want our church to have an ongoing budget deficit! If we can't find a few areas to save money in Pastor Zeke's compensation package, then how are we going to pay down this deficit? I would hate to see us have to lay off some of the other pastors or administrators, but somebody whose name I won't mention did happen to tell me she thought we were "top heavy" with "overpaid" pastoral and admin staff.

                    Said individual made the observation that if it comes down to laying off one senior pastor vs. laying off ten or twenty church gardeners, custodians, or valets, why, it would make the most sense to just lay off that one pastor, because you're getting the same cost savings, but sacrificing fewer jobs.
                    WARNING:
                    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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                    • #11
                      Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                      The truth is, I need my stipend tripled. Jesus has endowed me with great gifts and you people are letting Him and I down. Oh ye of little faith! Tithe more and your reward in Heaven will be unspeakable!

                      I'm not misbehaving like so many false Pastors!

                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                        Pastor Zeke, with all due respect, how is the church going to pay for tripling your stipend? That money's got to come out of some other program or service, right?
                        WARNING:
                        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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                        • #13
                          Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                          ...What I'm thinking is it would probably be pretty painless for him if, when the lease is up on his current Caddy, which costs $500 per month, we were to trade it in on something like a Ford Fusion Hybrid ...which can be leased for $300 per month. That right there saves us $2,400 per year just on lease payments, and when you consider the fact that the Fusion Hybrid gets 47mpg vs. the Cadillac's 14mpg, we'd be saving at least another $3,000 on Zeke's gas bill... Anyway, I just thought this was something we should maybe consider. I love Pastor Zeke with all my heart, and I know he works very hard, but I know he also loves this church more than he loves his own life, and I'm sure he would not want to ever feel like his expenses were unduly burdening this fine organization.
                          Dearest Brother,

                          I always try to give everybody the benefit of doubt, even for vile unsaved trash. I could not do anyhing less for you.

                          So I researched the issue of the car:




                          Not good. Many extremely unpleasant aspects emerged:
                          1. The Ford Fusion Hybrid was designed by abominable hippie GREENS for other sodomistic hippies. God hates greens. He intended us to multiply and subdue the Earth's disk (Genesis 1:28). This car is both atheist and ungodly.
                          2. Steve Ballmer of Microsoft owns a Ford Fusion Hybrid.
                          3. Steve Ballmer is a known homersex enthusiast (Leviticus 18:22), who actually donated lots of actual MONEY to the homer agenda. Had he given it to LBC, no-one would be in this mess!
                          And the worst part...:

                          The attractively styled front seats have headrests that protrude too far forward for those who are slender or petite. I’m tall and thin and just couldn’t get comfortable behind the wheel, even with the headrest pushed to its most rearward position. No matter how I positioned the seat and steering wheel, my shoulders and neck invariably got cramped on long rides from straining to keep my head clear of the headrest.

                          That seems innocent... BUT IT IS NOT! "A headrest that protrudes..." - this is a clear euphemism and metaphor for male arousal. This car can turn people to the dark gayside of God's force. Of course, nothing can turn Pastor Zeke homer, but he might be entertaining more susceptible young students and disciples that are more prone to the gay innuendo.


                          Dearest Brother,

                          I am most certain that Pastor Zeke would be the first one to follow God's Word on wealth, such as the one that follows:

                          Mark 4:19 And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.

                          ..and I know financial issues ARE important, but this proposal of yours was not perhaps prepared in the best possible manner? I encourage you to continue your mission to ensure the continued enabling of spreading the GOOD WORD as efficiently as possible. BUT NOT WITH THIS HOMERCAR, please!

                          Yours in Christ,

                          Elmer
                          2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                          PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                          Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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                          • #14
                            Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                            I do think that Pastor's package is quite large. In fact, his is probably the largest package I have ever seen. Having said that, I would be disappointed to see it become smaller. If anything, we need it to be as large as possible so that he can give Sister Daisy what she needs if he ever gets off his high horse and makes an honest woman of her (Even so, Come, Lord Jesus).

                            My business continues to prosper and allows me to increase my tithe, if that will help the budget at all. I believe the settlement Sister Derringer recently received is also worthy of a tithe (ahem, Sister!). It is my opinion that those people sitting in the platinum tithing pews that are slipping in a ten dollar bill should be rebuked in Jesus Name one fine Sunday (perhaps this one?).

                            There are other vehicles besides the Escalade that have better mileage. The men of the church should do some comparison shopping. I know that pastor uses the vehicle for ministering to his flock, since I have seen that Escalade parked for hours in various parishioners' driveways - sometimes all night long, GLORY TO GOD. Zeke's dedication is unmatched, Hallelujah! I had no idea that Dr. Niles had so many pastoral needs, by the way - but I digress.

                            Anyway, FM, please let me know if my additional tithe will help ensure that Pastor has a nice, well-rounded package that he can use for Christ's Glorious work.

                            Praying that others will also reach in and go deep,
                            NRL
                            1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                            Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                            Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                            Locations in 50 States and Canada
                            !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                            Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                            Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

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                            • #15
                              Re: The elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about (Pastor Zeke's compensation package).

                              Originally posted by Elmer G. White View Post
                              Dearest Brother,

                              I always try to give everybody the benefit of doubt, even for vile unsaved trash. I could not do anyhing less for you.

                              So I researched the issue of the car:




                              Not good. Many extremely unpleasant aspects emerged:
                              1. The Ford Fusion Hybrid was designed by abominable hippie GREENS for other sodomistic hippies. God hates greens. He intended us to multiply and subdue the Earth's disk (Genesis 1:28). This car is both atheist and ungodly.
                              2. Steve Ballmer of Microsoft owns a Ford Fusion Hybrid.
                              3. Steve Ballmer is a known homersex enthusiast (Leviticus 18:22), who actually donated lots of actual MONEY to the homer agenda. Had he given it to LBC, no-one would be in this mess!
                              And the worst part...:




                              That seems innocent... BUT IT IS NOT! "A headrest that protrudes..." - this is a clear euphemism and metaphor for male arousal. This car can turn people to the dark gayside of God's force. Of course, nothing can turn Pastor Zeke homer, but he might be entertaining more susceptible young students and disciples that are more prone to the gay innuendo.


                              Dearest Brother,

                              I am most certain that Pastor Zeke would be the first one to follow God's Word on wealth, such as the one that follows:

                              Mark 4:19 And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.

                              ..and I know financial issues ARE important, but this proposal of yours was not perhaps prepared in the best possible manner? I encourage you to continue your mission to ensure the continued enabling of spreading the GOOD WORD as efficiently as possible. BUT NOT WITH THIS HOMERCAR, please!

                              Yours in Christ,

                              Elmer
                              Brother Elmer, the Ford Fusion was just an example. How about a Chevy Malibu Eco? I understand it's quite thrifty with fuel.
                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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