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-   -   The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop. (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=19365)

TC Patriot 01-30-2009 02:42 AM

The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him" (Song of Solomon 5:4).

Pastor Deacon Fred's sermons on God's use of poop are inspiring. Whenever I take a trip to the brownie bowl I think of Pastor Deacon Fred and his sermons about dung and piss.

Mr. Jingles 01-30-2009 04:05 AM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
It comforts me to know that Jesus is watching me in the bathroom, making sure I have healthy movements & that I never touch my tallywhacker.

Pastor Ezekiel 01-30-2009 04:38 AM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
Yes, Jesus DOES watch you go poopy! :angry:

Pastor Isaac Peters 01-30-2009 12:42 PM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
Speaking of scoop on poop, I trust that we are attending nature's call in the Biblically correct way.

Deut. 23:13-14: And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee: For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

TC Patriot 02-01-2009 07:08 AM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
I really like this one.

“But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you” (Isaiah 36:12)?

Nobar King 02-01-2009 03:17 PM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
Sorry if I misunderstood the thread title, but I was expecting something relating to scooping poop off my lawn. I'm getting pretty tired of shoveling the random bits of dog poop off the grass. There's not much worse than hitting a pile of crap with a lawnmower or a weed whacker. Time to buy daddy some new shoes!!

H. Montague Worthington 02-11-2009 09:07 PM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
I, for one, am absolutely comfortable with Jesus watching me use the toilet. I know that he loves me as his own, so he considers my daily business part of His duty.

Rachael Van Helsing 03-18-2009 01:44 AM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TC Patriot (Post 288380)
"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him" (Song of Solomon 5:4).

Pastor Deacon Fred's sermons on God's use of poop are inspiring. Whenever I take a trip to the brownie bowl I think of Pastor Deacon Fred and his sermons about dung and piss.

Ah, the songs of Solomon aka bible erotica.

The fact that faecalphilia is included in here is more than just a little disturbing..... as is the fact that mr girly gun here finds this arousing... :bad:

Pastor Ezekiel 03-18-2009 02:05 AM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 307387)
Ah, the songs of Solomon aka bible erotica.

The fact that faecalphilia is included in here is more than just a little disturbing..... as is the fact that mr girly gun here finds this arousing... :bad:

Leave it to a God-mocking witch to twist God's Holy Word into an infantile poo-poo joke. :glare:

Mr. Jingles 03-19-2009 11:50 PM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 307387)
Ah, the songs of Solomon aka bible erotica.

The fact that faecalphilia is included in here is more than just a little disturbing..... as is the fact that mr girly gun here finds this arousing... :bad:

Of course you find it arousing...lesbos generally do.

Bogdana Alkeav 03-23-2009 05:49 AM

Re: The Bible Gives Us the Scoop on Poop.
 
My Oh, these are very doing are disgusted wire, and it does not adapt my sensitivities. I will leave this discussion to the man people.


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