I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
I...I have no excuse, it just happened. I was having a dream Abigail and I were preparing for another soldier for Christ....and upon waking, I was ejecting seed:( So in keeping with Deuteronomy 23:10-11, I am leaving town for the day as scripture demands.
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Anywho, sorry Niles, I have to cancel the lawn darts today. When the sun starts setting, I'll wash up in the river and be back for a late supper. |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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I do need to ask. Is Abigail attending to her duties as a proper wife should? Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee . I know for a fact you desire children because Jesus tells us to by fruitful. Genesis 9:7 And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein. Is Abigail on the turn? Should you be thinking of a younger, more Christian woman of the female persuasion to prevent such 'accidents' from happening again? It may seem harsh putting her to one side but if she cannot fulfill her one role in life (John 16:21) it probably because she is fornicating else where and this is grounds for divorce (Matthew 5:32). Even worse, Jesus tells us that fornicators are destined for the Lake of Fire. Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. I do hope either Abigail mends her ways, or dies and goes to Hell so you can marry some one younger and more Christian as I would hate to not be able to catch you up at darts. All the best Brother. YIC |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
I hope this message finds you, I'm just on the outskirts of Freehold sitting in the woods.
You raise valid points, Brother. While she is obedient and submits to my will (Colossians 3:18, 1st Corinthians) if she doesn't produce a child, what's the point of keeping her around? I doubt Abigail is committing adultery, like I said it was quite the chore getting her to receive my seed. What do the kids say these days "drier than a popcorn fart". I know I am still able to produce seed (as I found out last night) but without a childbearing wife....kind of makes me useless too. :( Well, lets hope the secular doctors are right and she expires in childbirth, then I'm good to find a fertile female!!:thumbsup: Romans 7:2-3 How old is your daughter again? ***this message sent using JesOS Roaming Rapture app™. |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
May I respectfully ask that this thread be moved to the Men Only forum? There are young unmarried women here who might be traumatized by such graphic descriptions. (And if Abigail doesn't survive, Brother John might want to marry one of them.)
YiC AW |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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BTW, isn't it lunch time? How come you are not making sandwiches? ***this message sent using JesOS Roaming Rapture app™. |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
Praying for you, Brother John
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Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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Yours in True Christian™ platonic love, AW |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
At least it didn't happen to you IN CHURCH!
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Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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Thank you for sharing this painful matter:(. Your behaviour since the accident has been exemplary, but I would still suggest that you consult a senior pastor on some issues. I humbly suggest this as a True Christian™ brother to another and I hope you won't be offended. 1. The issue of consulting a secular doctor. Are you really sure you can strust their advice?! Let us remember King Asa! 2 Chronicles 16:12-13. And Asa in the thirty and ninth year of his reign was diseased in his feet, until his disease was exceeding great: yet in his disease he sought not to the LORD, but to the physicians. And Asa slept with his fathers, and died in the one and fortieth year of his reign.:fear2: You really cannot trust their judgment. King Asa did and he died and I have heard the personal testimonies of several people, whose family members consulted secular doctors but died eventually. I also read stories of several people who have died in the end after consulting godless doctor often years earlier. Of course, we do hope they are right in this case, but let's be suspicious. Ask a senior pastor. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dcv3luJ0x7...a+&+Hanani.jpg Here's a picture of King Asa. Of course, he had a disease of the foot. 2. You might also consider discussing the question of marital duties with a senior pastor. If your body spills its seed in a wanton manner, it is inevitable that Mrs. Creeser has neglected to perform her marital duties in an adequate manner. Thanks to your quick wits most of the sperm spilled was rescued but inevitably some of it must have been absorbed by the fibers of your bed linen. These sperm cells never had the chance to compete in order to become future soldiers for Christ. Christ weeps and, unfortunately, Mrs. Creeser has become a murderer. I know this is painful. Or course, I will pray for your wife to perish and for the countless sperm cells lost forever. I also pray for the possible future child to survive and not be cast into HELL before it has the wits to REPENT and be SAVED. However, Brother, your beautiful soul shines brightly through this unfortunate event in your immaculate honesty. Only a True Christian™ man of the HIGHEST quality would have the courage to share this with us. http://api.ning.com/files/OzFYH47Fv1...58q0yk_400.jpg Yours in Christ, Elmer :bye: |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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Sometimes during our our annual lovemaking/conception session, seed will spill to the side of the womb. The basters are great for sucking it up and putting the seed where it belongs. One year, I couldn't maintain an erection at all with my wife, so I printed out some pictures of Ronald Reagan, listened to a few of his greatest speeches, and conceived directly into the turkey baster while watching footage of the Berlin Wall tumbling down like the walls of Jericho. I rushed over to my waiting wife, and filled her womb with enough seed to glaze a 12-lb hen. Nine months later, the LORD blessed us with young Malachi. The trick is to get it in there before it has a chance to cool off. In Christ. |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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On a completely unrelated note I'm selling many gallons of paint. Or whitewash. Indoor only, I don't think it will stand up to being rained on. |
Re: I'll be out of Freehold today, I had a "wet" dream.
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