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-   -   Current Freehold Ladies, Please (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=96291)

Naomi Ruth Lamb 01-25-2014 07:56 PM

Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Sisters,

As the purchase of a condo for Mother and Father is nearing a close, I am trying to focus on a location where I can sell my pie (and other delights). His Honor the Mayor has expressed an interest in my business, and I want to satisfy his interest.

I am told that a lovely storefront is located at 777 Paul Crouch Avenue. Can someone take time this weekend to stroll by and see if it looks like a place where my wares would be adequately displayed? Am I right that there is a Bible store at 779?

If 777 is appropriate (7 is God's perfect number, after all), I want to be sure that I can have a reasonably sized kitchen, room for storage of ingredients, refrigeration, and a back alley. I want the back alley to not be too tight so men can enter there freely to bring me what I need, since I prefer larger trucks rather than a lot of tiny ones.

The store area should be capable of being a bright, welcoming place. Room to display what I'm selling, along with a place where people can enjoy it on-site. I want to have a small prayer chapel there, if possible.

I will pay a finder's fee to those that can help me out. Perhaps a few of you could make it a joint venture and have a lovely day walking the heated streets of Freehold. No worries about winter there!

I plan to post (with permission) in the men's area to ask for some intelligent help regarding finances, management, etc. since my feeble mind just can't handle those things. And ladies, I hope you'll come to the decorating party! I may have a contest for window treatments. I'm puzzled about colors, etc.

Drapes, carpet, etc. all have to be perfect and have a nice match, but not too one-sided. Thanks, Sisters! I love you all. I can't wait until we're neighbors.

Your friend in Jesus,
NRL

Mrs. Isaac Peters 01-28-2014 04:24 PM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Hello, dear. I asked my husband, who asked Jimmy-Roy, who used to work for a company that delivered meat in downtown Freehold and learned his way around the back alleys that way. What I've been told is that that back alley should be entirely suitable for deliveries.

James Hutchins 01-29-2014 01:23 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Excuse me ladies but I am not too comfortable with the idea of a decent White womans pie for sale on the streets of Freehold. The idea of the smell of fresh pie will cause young boys to waiver in thier daily trek to Bible school and will not doubt cause the blood of the savage nigras to boil. I now how those people are and once they have had a slice, you will not see them again until the next SNAP day. Mrs Peters is right, it would better provided on a outcall home delivery basis to the Freehold Westin.

Pastor Ezekiel 01-29-2014 04:05 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
One word, ladies: Wild Negroes. :bongo-drums:

They steal pies like a chinaman eats raw fish brains.

You'll need security. :officer:

Didymus Much 01-29-2014 05:01 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 1060408)
...You'll need security. :officer:

Their pies will be quite safe with Bobby-Joe around. ;)

Mother Of Seven 01-29-2014 05:45 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 1060408)
One word, ladies: Wild Negroes. :bongo-drums:

Do you actually have them in Freehold? :fear2: Has a gated community been considered to keep them and other undesirables out?

Naomi Ruth Lamb 01-30-2014 12:16 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Sisters,

In subservience to the men, I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold. I will continue to bake at home. My dividends from Google and other stocks will allow me to tithe locally rather than in Iowa, and the Lord will bless those efforts as I continue to provide my pie to hungry customers here. Why would the Landover Baptist church need my millions in tithes or the millions I was willing to invest in the community? I can think of no good reason. GLORY!

NRL

Felicity 01-30-2014 12:34 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb (Post 1060538)
I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold.

:( I was looking forward to more hot juicy pie in Freehold.

see_the_light 01-30-2014 12:35 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb (Post 1060538)
Sisters,

In subservience to the men, I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold. I will continue to bake at home. My dividends from Google and other stocks will allow me to tithe locally rather than in Iowa, and the Lord will bless those efforts as I continue to provide my pie to hungry customers here. Why would the Landover Baptist church need my millions in tithes or the millions I was willing to invest in the community? I can think of no good reason. GLORY!

NRL

Sister

You seem to have misconstrued our Pastors advice for your protection with a denial.

Where else but here would you please the LORD with your moist and warm pie?

Leviticus 26:31

And I will make your cities waste, and bring your sanctuaries unto desolation, and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours.

Where but here can GOD stick HIS finger down and indent it deeply upon your pie? Where but here would JESUS's nostrils move to smell the lingering odor of a sliced pie, spreading as it flows to fill the hole left by the first cut?

PRAISE THE LORD!

Basilissa 01-30-2014 12:38 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb (Post 1060538)
Sisters,

In subservience to the men, I have decided not to open my shop in Freehold. I will continue to bake at home. My dividends from Google and other stocks will allow me to tithe locally rather than in Iowa, and the Lord will bless those efforts as I continue to provide my pie to hungry customers here. Why would the Landover Baptist church need my millions in tithes or the millions I was willing to invest in the community? I can think of no good reason. GLORY!

NRL

That's so sad, Sister Naomi. I was considering seeking employment in your enterprise. :(

Alvin Moss 01-30-2014 01:22 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
I like pie.

Naomi Ruth Lamb 01-30-2014 03:02 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Basilissa (Post 1060542)
That's so sad, Sister Naomi. I was considering seeking employment in your enterprise. :(

Perhaps I could open a franchise where you are; in this way, you can praise the Lord with pie and earn money for yarn, oil soap, and other necessities. Is there a storefront nearby?

NRL

Basilissa 01-31-2014 12:43 AM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb (Post 1060564)
Perhaps I could open a franchise where you are; in this way, you can praise the Lord with pie and earn money for yarn, oil soap, and other necessities. Is there a storefront nearby?

NRL

Oh, Naomi, you would love my little town in Northern Michigan! I'm not aware of an existing pie store, and there is a great need, lots of potential clients in the area. There is an Indian casino nearby, and I'm sure we could attract it's clients, and in the surrounding rural areas we have lots of hunters who would always go for some pie, and we also have some Amish (or Mennonites, I can't tell the difference) - apparently, the Amish men don't get as much pie at home as they would like to. In addition, there are some colleges and a university nearby, and you know that pie is the only thing university students can think about.

:)

KateSanders 02-12-2014 01:44 PM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Basilissa (Post 1060779)
Oh, Naomi, you would love my little town in Northern Michigan! I'm not aware of an existing pie store, and there is a great need, lots of potential clients in the area. There is an Indian casino nearby, and I'm sure we could attract it's clients, and in the surrounding rural areas we have lots of hunters who would always go for some pie, and we also have some Amish (or Mennonites, I can't tell the difference) - apparently, the Amish men don't get as much pie at home as they would like to. In addition, there are some colleges and a university nearby, and you know that pie is the only thing university students can think about.

:)

As some already stated wild negreos could still be a big problem, especially if there is a casino nearby.

Basilissa 02-12-2014 06:06 PM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KateSanders (Post 1064055)
As some already stated wild negreos could still be a big problem, especially if there is a casino nearby.

Oh, dear, you don't know a thing about Michigan, do you. We keep all blacks safely locked up in that hell hole called Detroit and some other equally miserable places in the southern part of the state. Northern Michigan is 100% white. We are, after all, one of the most racially segregated states in our great Nation. :innocent:

KateSanders 02-12-2014 08:07 PM

Re: Current Freehold Ladies, Please
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Basilissa (Post 1064127)
Oh, dear, you don't know a thing about Michigan, do you. We keep all blacks safely locked up in that hell hole called Detroit and some other equally miserable places in the southern part of the state. Northern Michigan is 100% white. We are, after all, one of the most racially segregated states in our great Nation. :innocent:

No blacks? That sounds like a paradise! Thank you for informing me about how great Michigan truly is! :lol:


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