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-   -   Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=52834)

ExGay Alex 10-27-2010 07:36 AM

Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
I found this Godly advice regarding erectile dysfunction from long-time Republican Chip Womack. His message is: You don't need "pills", you need to conquer your own insecurities and let God into your heart.



I prayed over the image of Taylor Collins struggling to maintain an erection, and the Lord's spoke to me. He said "Chip is RIGHT!"

If your "property" is not rising, it's because YOU are not right with JESUS. Though Chip does not quote scripture (lest he be sued by those radicals at the ACLU), his advice is entirely consistent with God's word on erectile dysfunction straight from the Bible.

God talks of erectile dysfunction in Psalms 139. Here is verse 2: Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. This refers to the inability to get an erection because of fear and distraction.

Then verse 14: I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. This refers to the cure, through prayer, finally able to achieve an erection.

And finally, verse 16, the ability to ejaculate: Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. Here the message is "God had given you a "member" that may not be perfect, but it will work if you are right with God and your "substance" will be visible (to God and your Godly wife)."

Who needs Viagra? It is the devil's blue pill. Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Psalm 138:8: The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

Justin Z 10-31-2010 06:51 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
I am not sure how this works but isn't all True Christian women attractive enough so this wouldn't be a problem?

Brother Harold Porter 10-31-2010 09:19 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Justin Z (Post 627899)
I am not sure how this works but isn't all True Christian women attractive enough so this wouldn't be a problem?

Not always Brother. Although she does the best she can with what the Lord gave her, Mrs. Porter's appearance made procreation difficult. The thought of doing the deed was always about as exciting as stepping in a wad of chewing gum; something you would rather avoid.

However, with much prayer God helped me get the job done with our four sons.

Quote:

"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26 - KJV1611
Praise Jesus we are done with the awkward events in the bedroom!

Justin Z 10-31-2010 09:24 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Did he tell you to use blind folds or did he tell you to use the "just get it over with" approach? Hopefully I won't obtain this problem but if I do I want to be ready!

Praise the lord for answering prayers:praise:

nightwolf67 11-11-2010 04:31 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ExGay Alex (Post 624851)
I found this Godly advice regarding erectile dysfunction from long-time Republican Chip Womack. His message is: You don't need "pills", you need to conquer your own insecurities and let God into your heart.

This is very true! Pills are costly and ineffective, and the money goes straight into the Devil's pocket as far as I'm concerned. Penis pumps are dangerous as well and should not be messed with. Please don't let my suffering go to waste, learn from my mistakes!

Brother Helge 11-13-2010 10:07 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
If God the Almighty have struck you with "erectile dysfunction", who are you to cheat with chemicals?
Do you really want God to punish you even harder?

WilliamJenningsBryan 11-14-2010 01:54 AM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
1 Attachment(s)
If you're having trouble with ED chances are it's the woman's fault. There is mounting evidence in these cases that the woman might be a DEMONcrat or a closeted LIEberal.

The following chart can be instructive on how to tell the difference.

Attachment 14244

Minecraft 11-14-2010 02:25 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
If you have an erectile dysfunction, you shouldn't be having sex.

Cranky Old Man 11-14-2010 05:37 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Minecraft (Post 636679)
If you have an erectile dysfunction, you shouldn't be having sex.

Are you really that stupid? If you are having erectile dysfunction you can't have sex. That is why it is called an erectile dysfunction!

Romans 1:21 "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."

midge2012 08-23-2012 07:24 AM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
haha the tussle between cant and shudnt!! lol
but it is not a laughing matter this ED. pills help

Levi Jones 08-23-2012 07:31 AM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by midge2012 (Post 922163)
haha the tussle between cant and shudnt!! lol
but it is not a laughing matter this ED. pills help

Friend, I would disagree with you. Faith helps. Not penis pills.

Mark 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

Perhaps you should organize a prayer circle for your damaged privy member if you are having difficulty.

James 5:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:

Godfly 08-25-2012 04:58 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 636775)
Are you really that stupid? If you are having erectile dysfunction you can't have sex. That is why it is called an erectile dysfunction!

Romans 1:21 "Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."

A rope can be pushed up a hill, though it is not much fun for the rope or the hill, or whomever is pushing. Still sex is for procreation only and it can be dangerouse if enjoyed too much.

lukasekman 08-25-2012 05:47 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Of course Viagra ain't Christian.
It was manufactured on order by Bill Clinton so he could fornicate with the joo Lewinsky. It works by tricking male hormones, which make it just as evil as other hormonal drugs, like insulin and anabolic steroids.

Today, Chink spammers sell it across the globe, as Levi Jones pointed out.

Professor Bessemer 08-25-2012 09:43 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by midge2012 (Post 922163)
haha the tussle between cant and shudnt!! lol
but it is not a laughing matter this ED. pills help

I made this post about this very topic just the other day when you brought up the exact same perverted subject. Your obsession with artficially induced tumescence indicates that you are more than likely a raging queer.

Quote:

Quote:

Originally Posted by midge2012
where can erectile dysfunction be cured?

So called erectile dysfunction does not exist. If God smites your penis such that it cannot become engorged with blood, then He had a very good reason for doing so. Taking secular drugs like Viagra©, Cialis©, or Levitra© is an insult to the Lord. One should never attempt to achieve a chemically enhanced boner unless one wishes to spend eternity in Hell being raped by demons with gigantic flaming erections.

Jedediah 08-25-2012 11:10 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Levi Jones (Post 922166)
Perhaps you should organize a prayer circle for your damaged privy member if you are having difficulty.

James 5:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:

Yes, and to be absolutely certain, I would suggest coupling the anointing with oil with a laying-on of hands.

Mark 16:18
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

natural23 06-20-2014 08:15 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Wow some of you are ignorant and stupid.

"So called erectile dysfunction does not exist.

Erectile dysfunction does exist!

"If God smites your penis such that it cannot become engorged with blood, then He had a very good reason for doing so. Taking secular drugs like Viagra©, Cialis©, or Levitra© is an insult to the Lord. One should never attempt to achieve a chemically enhanced boner unless one wishes to spend eternity in Hell being raped by demons with gigantic flaming erections."

Wow you are stupid prick. You know absolutely nothing about Erectile dysfunction or science. Too bad you bully people to feel guilty with real problems without understanding a bonafide scientific condition and then pretend to be a loving christian. Some people have physiological reasons they need drugs like Viagra, because they do not have nocturnal erections. Nocturnal erections keep a penis alive, and without them, a person may experience shrinkage if they have physiological erectile dysfunction due to blood flow, hormonal, or neurological reasons. People have medicinal need to take drugs like viagra so their health does not degrade and they are able to have a satisfactory life. The bullying you are doing will probably make you a perfect target to be raped by demons in hell as you are a gigantic asshole.



"I made this post about this very topic just the other day when you brought up the exact same perverted subject. Your obsession with artficially induced tumescence indicates that you are more than likely a raging queer."

I have never heard of a professor being purposefully mean. Does this help you get to heaven or is this your guilt and insecurity coming through for making fun of people with real physiological problems, you should be called proffesor prick. Not a loving christian or follower of christ.

"Still sex is for procreation only and it can be dangerouse if enjoyed too much."
Sex is not dangerous if enjoyed too much. It is actually natural and healthy. The only thing dangerous about sex is unhealthy attitudes towards sex that make people feel guilty and can cause psychological impotence as opposed.

Sex is a blessing, not a curse! Enjoy it you pricks.

Pastor Isaac Peters 06-20-2014 08:43 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Dear friend:

Thank you for your necropost. You may or may not have noticed that some of the True Christians™ have shown enough Christian love to give direct quotations of Bible passages discussing healing and the like. You, on the other hand, seem to expect us to believe what you say solely on your own say-so. Now which should we believe and why: the Bible or your unsupported assertions?

Marko Loimaan-Aho 06-21-2014 05:13 AM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Can you please help me: What means Erectile Dysfunction?
My English is not good enough, I think. I found the words from dictionary but I do not understand the term.

WWJDnow 06-21-2014 11:54 PM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by natural23 (Post 1095548)
Erectile dysfunction does exist!

Not among True Christians™. That's because you trust the so-called doctors, whereas we know that the best way to cure any disease is through prayer and the laying on of hands.

Quote:

You know absolutely nothing about Erectile dysfunction or science.
The same scientists who claim that erectile dysfunction is real also support evolution, and we know that that is false. I'm sorry that these scientists so-called have brainwashed you.

Quote:

Some people have physiological reasons they need drugs like Viagra, because they do not have nocturnal erections. Nocturnal erections keep a penis alive, and without them, a person may experience shrinkage if they have physiological erectile dysfunction due to blood flow, hormonal, or neurological reasons.
Ah, now I get it. You're just envious that True Christians™ have larger penises than you do. God just loves us more than He loves you. You should get used to it.

Quote:

Sex is not dangerous if enjoyed too much. It is actually natural and healthy.
Sure, for animals. Don't you want to rise above that level?

Alvin Moss 06-22-2014 12:24 AM

Re: Erectile Dysfunction: Viagra is not Christian
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by natural23 (Post 1095548)

Nocturnal erections keep a penis alive, and without them, a person may experience shrinkage if they have physiological erectile dysfunction due to blood flow, hormonal, or neurological reasons.

Shrinkage?


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