Re: Manly Jokes
After years of his wife's begging, Mike finally agrees to take his wife golfing with him. The third hole is a par 5 with a dogleg fairway that hooks to the left and has a small caretaker's shed off to the right, just before the bend. Mike slices the piss out of his tee shot and finds his ball lying in the rough with the shed directly between his ball and the green. His wife says, "Mike, I've got a great idea! If I hold the shed door open for you, you'll have a clear shot at the green right through the shed!" Mike decides it's worth a shot, grabs a 1-iron, stands a little forward of the ball, but slices it again. The ball hits the door jamb inside the shed, ricochets and hits his wife in the head, killing her instantly.
About a month later, Mike is on the same course with his buddies and, sure enough, he slices it on the third fairway and finds himself in a familiar situation. His friend says, "Mike, I've got a great idea! If I hold the shed door open for you, you'll have a clear shot at the green right through the shed!" As he's grabbing his 9-iron, Mike replies instantly, "Oh no! Last time I tried that I took a double bogey!" :thumbsup: |
Re: Manly Jokes
Since this is a men only forum just this once I'll work blue.
How long does it take a woman to orgasm? Who the Hell cares! |
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And in the same vein... Gerald and Spencer are on the 14th hole when Gerald sees a funeral procession passing by in the distance. Gerald stops and places his hat over his heart until the procession passes by. Spencer, impressed, pats his friend on the shoulder saying he didn't know he was so sentimental. "I'm not, usually," Gerald said. "but, after all, we were married for 42 years." |
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I WANT EVERY HARCORE CRISTIAN TO WATCH THE FOLLOWING MOVIE "The Invention Of Lying". It shows what very well may have happened many many years ago. You have NO evidence that everything or anything in the bible is true. I wont lie... I am not religeous but I do agree with SOME of the stuff in the bible (That people should not lie etc.). Be reasonable here... I refuse to follow a religion because there is no evidence that any of it is real. If one of the many religions are real (for sure). Then by all means I would be that religion. But for now there is no evidence that there is a god and there is no evidence that any religion is real. P.S. If you ban my account or I.P adress it just goes to show that you are scared that people might stop beleaving some of the fake stuff you people say... Scared that you may lose some of you power. Suck dick! Pussy beaters! :devil: :lex_12:<---Power hungry christians Think about it. |
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That's hilarious! Sometimes you unsaved trash crack me up with your humorous stories! |
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what's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
A fist |
Re: Manly Jokes
A middle aged couple are approaching their wedding anniversary, the wife has just finished putting him to rights over a cup of tea with her friends, about how he never remembers their anniversary and has never bought her a gift in his life, when he comes walking through the front door carrying a big, gift wrapped box with a big ribbon and bow.
"Wow" the wife says shocked... "Whats up with you?" "Its our anniversary darling" the husband jovially states "Aren't you going to open it?" The wife, hesitantly, pulls the ribbon and lifts the lid off the box, has a look in and her face turns to thunder... "What the hell is that?" she demands. "Clearly, it is a frog" the husband remarks sarcastically, "In fact, it is a very rare Venezuelan cock-sucking tree frog" "What the hell am i going to do with a Venezuelan cock-sucking tree frog?" the wife enquires. "Teach it to cook and piffle off" came the reply! :devil: |
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Leave it to Godless Venezuelans to come up with sexual relations with amphibians. :bad:
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All the discussion of the "erection in church" problem reminds me of a joke!
Q: What is ten inches long, has a circumference of nearly four inches, and is white? A: Nothing :) |
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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt! How do they know Princess Diana used Head & Shoulders? They found hers on the dashboard! Why don't women need to drive? Because there isn't a road between the stove and my phallus. |
Re: Manly Jokes
A man comes busting into his house waving a piece of paper in the air. "Honey, go in there and start packing. I just won the lottery!!!" "Oh my, what do I pack for? Should I pack for the winter, are we going to Aspen? Or are we going to Jamaca, should I pack for summer?" To which the man replies, "I don't care what you pack for just get out of my house!"
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Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. So no, I wont be mentioning it to him. I still cannot believe you made that horrible joke :(. |
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Q:What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
A: Mmhpmph Q: What did one woman say to the other? A: Who cares |
Re: Manly Jokes
Three women were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first woman said, "Those are deer tracks." The second woman said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third woman said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The women were still arguing when the train hit them. |
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What did Dodi Al-Fayed say to his bodyguard?
"Would you like to go to Paris with me and Di?" |
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What do you say to a messicant on a $800 bicycle?
STOP, THIEF! |
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