Re: Manly Jokes
 

But Officer Don doesn't have a pencil neck . . .

Re: Manly Jokes
 

A young girl went to the barber shop with her father and stood right next to him as he got his hair cut. Then she took out a Twinkie and began eating it.

The barber warned her, "You're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She replied nonchalantly, "I'm gonna get boobs, too."

Re: Manly Jokes
 

What is the difference between a hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I cut up a hooker.

Re: Manly Jokes
 

That reminds me, Brother . . . Did you notice that you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"?

Re: Manly Jokes
 

Slut test!

Him: Are you a whore?
Her: No!
He put $ 10 on the table.
Him: Will you go to bed with me for $ 10
Her: No!
He put $ 100 on the table.
Him: What about now?
Her: No!
He then put $ 500 on the table.
Him: Now?
Her: No!
He puts $ 5000 on the table.
Him: What about now?

Her: Well..... Okay then.

He takes all the money again, except the $ 10

Her: Hey what you doing?
Him: Now that we have stated you are a whore, we can begin to negotiate the price.

Afterthought:
He then cuts her up like an onion, just without the crying. :lol:

Re: Manly Jokes
 

The bible speaks for itself and there can be no argument with the truth:

MATT 12 34
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

EPH 4 29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Re: Manly Jokes
 

This section is for men only!:angry:

Re: Manly Jokes
 

Was this supposed to be a joke? :headscratch:

Re: Manly Jokes
 

When the surgeon came to see Bambi on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.

Re: Manly Jokes
 

Lisa gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.

The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, Lisa falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, Lisa collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to her ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."

Re: Manly Jokes
 

Now I can only see two reasons for this post.

1. your sexual fascination with the girl and wanting to make her your "wench"
2. you want her to get upset and post in this thread and get into trouble

Why are you so obsessed with her? She's not interested in you.

And since I don't want to turn this into another Jo Freddy thread.....


You think men have it easy? You're dead wrong, they have to work up a sweat to keep taking out the belt and putting it back in again.


Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Trick question, feminists can't change anything!

How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Re: Manly Jokes
 

I refer you to a post I made in response to one of your other inane witterings:

Re: Manly Jokes
 

Her Name is Five Horses


A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.


He replied, "She is called Five Horses".



The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.


What does it mean?"



The Old Indian answered,

"It is an old Indian name. It means...


























wait for it





















NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG! :rofl:

Re: Manly Jokes
 

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok." She thinks that is a bit odd and asks him about it.

Re: Manly Jokes
 

i just mentally asked for it =D
god hasnt burnt me for going on this page yet! =D

Re: Manly Jokes
 

How can you tell whether your wife is dead or not?
Well, there's really no major different besides your home is getting dirtier, and you're getting hungrier.

Re: Manly Jokes
 

Why do all the joos have such big noses?

Air is free.


How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?

one, but the bulb really has to want to change.

Re: Manly Jokes
 

Millie, the virginal daughter of Brother John, was caught alone in the elevator of the church office tower with Levi Jones.

Being as yet unsaved and--I'll put it bluntly, since there are no womenfolk around in this thread--horny as Hell--Millie pressed the elevator's stop button, removed all of her clothes, then shouted to the good pastor, "Make a True Christian™ woman out of me!"

Pastor Jones, always willing to help a young Christian in need, removed his clothes, too, restarted the elevator, and, walking out buck naked when he reached his office's floor, instructed Millie, "I expect those to be cleaned and pressed before supper."

Re: Manly Jokes
 

I was chatting via Yahoo Messenger with Professor Bessemer yesterday, and he was telling me about his research into hormones as a treatment for homosexuality. He asked me if I knew how to make a hormone. Naturally, not being a Creation Scientist, I said no. His reply?












"Kick her in the stomach!" :lol:

Re: Manly Jokes
 

My mistress called me a pedophile today.



















I told her that's an awfully big word for a 9 year old.