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-   -   Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=20052)

Bob4God 02-26-2009 07:00 PM

Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
The Landover Baptist forums are a goldmine of GODly True Christian guidance, perspectives, articles, and Bible studies. Because of the high volume of new posts and revelations that come upon us each day, many of GOD's Greatest Hits quickly disappear into the back-pages of our forums.

If you're looking for answers to any of life's greatest questions, see below for the light that GOD has given us to share with you! Chances are your concerns have already been addressed!

True Christian brothers and sisters, please add the best threads you can find in our forums to this list!



Being a True Christian and Walking with GOD



  • Praising GOD in the Bathroom I list a handful of ways that you can turn the unpleasant act of going to the bathroom into a GODly experience!

Homosexuality



  • Gay Bowel Syndrome Sister Mary Maria's quick look at the unpleasant consequences of gay sex. What other reasons do you need to be straight?

Christian Parenting and Family Matters


  • Despicable advertising slogans Old Man Hatchet compiles an impressive list of shameful slogans that assault Christian values and the American family.
  • How sluts are made Brother Nobar King has an eye for depravity, and he warns us of the causes of harlotry!


Creation Science and the Earth and Universe


  • Proof of a Young Earth Pastor Billy-Reuben is back, and this time with the help of a pocket calculator and JESUS, He PROVES that the Earth is only 6,000 years old!


History



Christian Sexuality (WOMEN AND CHILDREN BE ADVISED!)

  • Keep it UP, Guys Old Man Hatchet handles the issue of positioning your unmentionables in your undergarments with great taste.


Politics and Government

  • The Big Lie of Katrina This could be the first small step in the journey of revealing the truth to the world! Thanks to ditchhook for sharing.

Supernatural threats and Cults



Just for Kids!

  • The Devil's Headlights Rebellious Cody was on his way to secular university, but GOD had another plan for his life!

Nobar King 02-26-2009 08:43 PM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
That's a very comprehensive list of threads, Brother Bob4. Thanks for putting that together.

Daisy Mae Johnson 02-27-2009 05:00 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Thank you Brother B4G. This compilation is a work of True Christian excellence and will ensure you a place along Christ's Right hand side.

Ezekiel Bathfire 02-28-2009 12:06 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Bookmarked for rebuke of the ungodly and a reference for the rest of us.

JennyD 02-28-2009 11:53 PM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Brother B4G, I note that you seem to have bypassed the Godly Republican Politics section. Surely there are important messages for our visitors there, as well! :thumbsup:

Bob4God 02-28-2009 11:59 PM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyD (Post 299327)
Brother B4G, I note that you seem to have bypassed the Godly Republican Politics section. Surely there are important messages for our visitors there, as well! :thumbsup:

Well spotted sister, but I do not intend to neglect that part of our forum. I am merely covering other areas before delving into our political wisdom, as there is such a mass of threads there!

Pastor Ezekiel 03-01-2009 12:02 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob4God (Post 299333)
Well spotted sister, but I do not intend to neglect that part of our forum. I am merely covering other areas before delving into our political wisdom, as there is such a mass of threads there!

Don't mind her, Brother. She gets uppity at certain times of the month if you know what I mean. ;)

JennyD 03-01-2009 12:03 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 299335)
Don't mind her, Brother. She gets uppity at certain times of the month if you know what I mean. ;)

Pastor, remember the story about my mood ring?

Maybe you should look at my ring closely. :glare:

Larry Lee 03-11-2009 09:22 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
B4G, you've offered Humankind a very great gift.

...And practically authored your own "Epistle of Bob to a LIEbrul world." (Although, for final publication, you'll want to include more bits about Sister Ayn Rand and the Godliness of neoliberal solutions, but those are matters you should be able to handle without much effort. Otherwise, Well done!)

obamabuddy 04-11-2011 03:52 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
AMEN!:innocent:

Holyfield 02-11-2012 11:51 PM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob4God (Post 298202)
True Christian brothers and sisters, please add the best threads you can find in our forums to this list!

I may not be a True Christian, but I do love this thread:
Fox news: Don't marry "other species/ethnics"

BelieverInGod 05-28-2012 06:13 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Wow, that's an amazing list. You must have put a lot of work into it!

Thank you Brother, I am adding it to my bookmarked folder of LBC wisdom :innocent:

Integra-T 08-22-2012 04:30 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Is there a post about going to college anywhere? I scrolled through like 5 pages but didunt see anything. I'm starting college this week and I'm feeling sort of lost. I'm wondering if maybe I should maybe take some time off and like go backpacking across Europe and find myself. I think I want to go into Christian counceling but I just don't know. I keep asking God what He wants from me but I still havunt gotten a calling from Him.

Classes start tomorrow and I'm just wondering what to do.

Pastor Ezekiel 08-22-2012 04:35 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Integra-T (Post 921756)
Is there a post about going to college anywhere? I scrolled through like 5 pages but didunt see anything. I'm starting college this week and I'm feeling sort of lost. I'm wondering if maybe I should maybe take some time off and like go backpacking across Europe and find myself. I think I want to go into Christian counceling but I just don't know. I keep asking God what He wants from me but I still havunt gotten a calling from Him.

Classes start tomorrow and I'm just wondering what to do.

You're a damned queer, aren't you boy. :glare:

Integra-T 08-22-2012 04:43 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
I admit I've had SSA before. I used to get teased at baseball practice cuz I always got wood and you could see it cuz of the pants. I always pretended it was cuz of girls though and people believed me. My Christian friends know though and weve prayed about it a lot. But I know its a sin to act on SSA and have a girlfriend who I plan to marry. God doesunt give us more than we can handle so I know that if I want to serve Him I can't be gay.

Stevent33 08-22-2012 04:57 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Integra-T (Post 921765)
I admit I've had SSA before. I used to get teased at baseball practice cuz I always got wood and you could see it cuz of the pants. I always pretended it was cuz of girls though and people believed me. My Christian friends know though and weve prayed about it a lot. But I know its a sin to act on SSA and have a girlfriend who I plan to marry. God doesunt give us more than we can handle so I know that if I want to serve Him I can't be gay.


Integra-T,
First I'm glad that you admit that homosexual is wrong and a great sin regardless if your just "thinking about it". Most homosexuals won't admit that it's a sin and that their 'god' (I lowercased it on purpose because their god isn't real) will be understanding it, since in their eyes they were born with it.
I'm glad that you are able to overcome these nasty tendenices and wish you the best of luck with your girlfriend. I sure hope your not fornicating with your girlfriend though.

Integra-T 08-22-2012 05:02 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stevent33 (Post 921775)
I sure hope your not fornicating with your girlfriend though.

No way! :yucky:

We met at the Ichthus festival a few years ago and lived in different towns so we just wrote a lot. Mostly about Jesus. But now we both go to UT and I'm worried that she might lead me into temptation. I'm sort of thinking I should just go ahead and marry her?

Stevent33 08-22-2012 05:11 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
If you don't think your strong enough to fight her sexual advances, than yes it's better that you marry this girl. My question is however, do you love this girl truly with all your heart? If you don't truly love her, than you would best to get rid of her because God doesn't take to kindly to fornication. Besides your not getting any younger; it may be time to start popping out soldiers for God.

Billy Bob Jenkins 08-22-2012 05:12 AM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Integra-T (Post 921781)
No way! :yucky:

We met at the Ichthus festival a few years ago and lived in different towns so we just wrote a lot. Mostly about Jesus. But now we both go to UT and I'm worried that she might lead me into temptation. I'm sort of thinking I should just go ahead and marry her?

If this girl is tempting you, then she is an adulterous whore. Wouldn't you rather have a woman who has repented of all sin?

Rev. M. Rodimer 08-30-2012 06:03 PM

Re: Christian Advice and Messages of Hope! GOD's Greatest Hits!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stevent33 (Post 921784)
If you don't think your strong enough to fight her sexual advances, than yes it's better that you marry this girl. My question is however, do you love this girl truly with all your heart? If you don't truly love her, than you would best to get rid of her because God doesn't take to kindly to fornication. Besides your not getting any younger; it may be time to start popping out soldiers for God.

"Truly love her"?

What are you talking about? :huh: Are you one of those homosexuals?

A True Christian™ marriage is about raising Soldiers for Christ and maintaining the home. The questions he should be asking are:

"Is this woman a True Christian™?" Correct answer: Yes

"Is this woman attractive to me, to ensure I can perform to bring forth Soldiers for Christ?" Correct answer: Yes

"Does this woman have a strong body and childbearing hips?" Correct answer: Yes

"Is this woman a virgin?" Correct answer: Yes

"Can this woman handle physical labor such as kitchen work, lawnmowing, and snow-shoveling?" Correct answer: Yes

"Does this woman require excessive beauty treatments to serve vanity?" Correct answer: No

"Are there any hereditary problems in this woman's family, like insanity or ugliness?" Correct answer: No


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