Dr. Niles? Are you there?
Dr. Niles:wub:
I was hoping you might be available for some one-on-one counseling someday soon (you can bring your nephew). I just have to open up some things to you and sit under your expert training. You may, of course, lodge in my home. During your visit, I'll introduce you to my lovely parents while your nephew plays with some of the local True Christian™ boys in my expansive pool (I have lifeguards to take care of them). Kindly let me know when is best for you. God has truly blessed you with a huge talent and I want to absorb some of it so that I may be a better soldieress for Jesus. Meekly, Miss Lamb |
Re: Dr. Niles? Are you there?
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Whatever True Christian™ man ever decides to try to save your soul is going to have his work cut out for him. |
Re: Dr. Niles? Are you there?
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I assure you, vile man, that you will have no purchase within my garments. While I was unaware of the ordinance prohibiting lifeguards, it makes me no more likely to accept your whiskey induced advances (Is it Jack Daniels or Jim Beam?). It makes me even more fervent in keeping your strong, manly hands from touching my smooth, milky skin! If you would like to speak more about your sin-sick soul, I can fit you in on Tuesday. Be aware that I will travel with a strong, Godly chaperone and he will be listening in from outside the room! Defending my faith and purity, Miss Lamb |
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Re: Dr. Niles? Are you there?
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I am grateful for the fact that you've informed me of an obscure ordinance - one which I shall surely contest at the next town meeting - but I will not be lusted after by someone who does not believe in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You should know that I am on my knees for you as I write this, asking GOD to touch you from head to toe with the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Through the BLOOD OF JESUS, I command the foul demons that seek to steal your soul to return to the vile pits of HELL from whence they came. In JESUS NAME, the power of Christ compels you to leave this man now! Hallelujah! Christ is Risen! Christ will come again! GLORY! So, what about this Tuesday thing? Miss Lamb |
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:hmmm: Anyway... Quote:
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Counselling? No True Christian ™ needs counselling, except for spiritual counselling administered by the pastors. Are you weak? Only the pathetic Unsaved need counselling as they are infested with demons. On the other hand, thinking about it, I'm sure you are infested with
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Pastoral Counseling is available 24/7 for all True Christians. Depending on your Tithing Level, you may or may not be able to afford it. My email address is at the bottom of my signature below. Christian confidentiality® assured.
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Will pray that you will not attack Miss Lamb's dignity and virtue in words or actions! She is a wonderful lady. Remember the verse Matthew 5:28, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." I am praying for you. Sincerely, Elizabeth |
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Will next this Thursday at about 1pm be convenient. It should be a warm day and I'm sure the my Newphew and the boys will enjoy the pool. I'll bring his swimming trunks. YIC |
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