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-   -   Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=41600)

The Hand 04-21-2010 09:42 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512164)
There's something off with this sentence... If you have already sinned, isn't it too late to cut your hand off? Aren't you going to Hell anyway? :unsure:

Did you eat a bowl of stupid this morning? Which words are you struggling with? It seems straightforward to me. If you cannot control your beastly urges and your hand is causing you to sin, it's better to cut it off than risk the fires of HELL. Of course, it's better to not sin at all, and then you wont have to cut anything off. Sin may be forgiven if you are repentant in your heart of hearts and change your ways NOW!

1Jon. 1
[7] But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.


Come to Jesus!

qamarun 04-21-2010 09:45 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
I guess the sense of humour is lost on you guys :lol:

The Hand 04-21-2010 09:48 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
You're just very very unfunny. It's like it's intentional.

Bruno 04-21-2010 10:05 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512202)
I guess the sense of humour is lost on you guys :lol:

This thread is full of I am retarded:D

The Hand 04-21-2010 10:08 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Look, this isn't a place for you two homers to get to know each other better.

This is a house of GOD. Show some respect.

Bruno 04-21-2010 10:11 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Hand (Post 512234)
Look, this isn't a place for you two homers to get to know each other better.

This is a house of GOD. Show some respect.

Learn to live and laugh dude. Let people have there opinions

The Hand 04-21-2010 10:26 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Well ok then, if you want to giggle like schoolgirls in a serious discussion, I'll leave you to it.

Wake me up when these two second-rate Godmockers have departed.

Nobar King 04-21-2010 10:32 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno (Post 512240)
Learn to live and laugh dude. Let people have there opinions

Do you mean three opinions? Are you like a genie?

Bruno 04-21-2010 10:44 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 512266)
Do you mean three opinions? Are you like a genie?

oh look who made a funny..
looks like this place isnt as dry as i thought

Bobby-Joe 04-22-2010 03:34 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno (Post 512273)
oh look who made a funny..
looks like this place isnt as dry as i thought

Perhaps we do have a sense of humor, however this forum isn't about just making a few cheep jokes.

Sidoain 04-23-2010 02:56 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Wow, so much ex masturbator in that forum. Dont deny the faq that you killed over 600 million human souls. No, its too late, you already killed, you go to hell. Dont pretend that it never happen, we recognize you as an ex masturbator. If ex mastubator are saved, then il make sure to be an ex mastubator for more then a week before my death and il be save too.

Praise Jesus!!!:yahoo:

Robert Jones 04-23-2010 03:07 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidoain (Post 513104)
Wow, so much ex masturbator in that forum. Dont deny the faq that you killed over 600 million human souls. No, its too late, you already killed, you go to hell. Dont pretend that it never happen, we recognize you as an ex masturbator. If ex mastubator are saved, then il make sure to be an ex mastubator for more then a week before my death and il be save too.

Praise Jesus!!!:yahoo:

We were born anew when we became True Christians™.

2 Corinthians 5:16-17: Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more: Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

God will have His day with you. :furious::haha:

Seth Campbell 04-23-2010 03:37 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Is this really the proper thing to be discussing in a Christian forum?

Godder 04-23-2010 03:10 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BIGs_Boss (Post 513136)
Is this really the proper thing to be discussing in a Christian forum?


no its not, i can't believe how many masturbators are on this site
frankly it has me questioning how many people on here are true Christians.

The Hand 04-23-2010 03:15 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
You might want to take a little look at the forum title before you complain:

Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Mother Glendora. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

Daisy Mae Johnson 07-15-2010 05:15 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
I think we need to have a Pastor go down to Paper Tiger XXX Adult shop on Indian Scalped Road and have an intervention with the men who plan on going in and watching the girls dance and then spilling their seed on the floor. Just imagine all the baby sperm souls just stuck there on the sticky floor and the bottom of Ming perverts shoes!

Someone needs to help these spermie children! :fear2:

handmaiden 07-15-2010 06:07 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by qamarun (Post 512202)
I guess the sense of humour is lost on you guys :lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno (Post 512273)
oh look who made a funny..
looks like this place isnt as dry as i thought

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 512771)
Perhaps we do have a sense of humor, however this forum isn't about just making a few cheep jokes.

Ha. Ha. Ha. You are going to burn eternally in hell. Funny stuff, eh?

There is nothing funny about the threat of hell. We are here, opening our hearts to offer you a glimpse of the Truth as presented in the Bible. The Bible ain't a giggle fest, my friend.

God has many, many things to say in the Bible -- things about Himself and His true nature, things about the nature of mankind and how He would prefer that we behave, and things about what happens after this mortal realm.

An orgasm -(pardon me Brothers for being so painfully frank) can last for a minute or two. The sheer, agonzing pain of burning flame will last forever. The unconceived souls that are virtually pissed away will be screaming besides you. How can you do that to them? How can you throw away the chance to live eternally in the Light of Jesus and instead choose to endure unending scorching, skin-peeling, searing PAIN!?

When the urge to grab your own goods comes over you, light a match and let the flame burn down until it singes your fingers. Imagine that pain magnified a millionfold. You will find your answer. A burnt finger or two -or three-- is better than an abused-- self-abused -- tallywacker and an eternity of engulfing flame--(which is never funny to the engulfee, though perhaps entertaining for any spectators about).

helpfully yours,

Handmaiden

Daisy Mae Johnson 09-04-2010 09:45 PM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Want proof that GOD will smite those who play with themselves?

GOD sent an alligator to chomp this young man hands off! you "play" you pay!

http://www.animalseatinganimals.com/...an-off-in.html

:o :lol: :jesussmile:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_X1IWXuEbgX...tor+attack.jpg

Zarek49 10-05-2010 04:33 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Yes. Yes it is. :sarcasm: I bet nobody took into account that masturbation is good for your health. I mean really. If it prevents prostate cancer then by all means. Also, you think hell would be full by now. On a side note, don't pin most masturbation on men. 87% of women masturbate. True story. Also, what of those who are Buddhist? Hellenistic pagans? I'm sure not everybody is gonna end up like these guys here: :lex_12: But seriously. was this not in the old testament? And besides. You gotta take into account, when 1 male fires off once, that's millions of sperm. Multiply that but the vast amount of males that do it and how often, I don't think even Hell has that much room.

Jedediah 10-05-2010 04:52 AM

Re: Is Touching Yourself Worth an Eternity in HELL?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zarek49 (Post 610823)
But seriously. was this not in the old testament?

Yes, self abuse is mentioned very early in the Holy Bible. Read these verses to see what happened when Onan spilled his seed for purposes other than making children.

Genesis 38:7-10
And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.
And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.


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