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-   -   10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=43433)

oh-dear 12-08-2010 08:41 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Wow.

A fantastic insight into American thoughts and beliefs.

This has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen!

Any of ye care to pop over for a pint anytime? I'm up for it! Oh but you wont be able to understand me, because I'm Irish.

[aside] funny thing is, I'm better educated than them. Most of these chaps are silly Pastors and what not. Oh well, I guess I'll enjoy my life and have a bit of craic instead of working for god.

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 08:45 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
OI!!!

I got infracted for wanting to watch the ex gay girlie if she ever reverted.

I find this objectionable, as the only reason i wanted to watch was to ensure that she received the necessary punishment for being ungodly.

I hereby appeal my infraction to the powers that be!¬!

oh-dear 12-08-2010 08:47 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 578440)
Then why did you allow the Brits to colonize you? :wacko:

Why did you allow the Brits to colonize you?

Lisa H 12-08-2010 08:58 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyGinger Irishman (Post 649897)
I have to apologise.

I thought all y'all merrycans didn't do irony.

I've never laughed so hard in my life!

And I'm LOVING the cutey blondes!!

Specially the ex-gay one... she can revert anytime she wants, once i get to watch!!

What are you talking about, I can hardly understand you. saying Merry Christmas to cans and watches that go backwards.

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 08:59 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by oh-dear (Post 649949)
Why did you allow the Brits to colonize you?


It was a better choice than letting the spanish and the french keep the place.

The spics are greasy. The frogs are a bunch of cheese eating surrender monkeys who caused wars but depended on others to help them out.
At least the brits learned how to wash.

As for us Irish, i think god does hate us. After all, he stuck us beside the brits, who are a hateful race

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 09:04 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 649959)
What are you talking about, I can hardly understand you. saying Merry Christmas to cans and watches that go backwards.

Ah Lisa, i pass on the very best of seasons greetings to you and your family.

As for the watches that go backwards, i need a new battery. And the shop doesn't accept potatoes as payment. And that's a problem, because i only have potatoes to spare. i gave all my money to the catholic church to save me from hell.

i think that may have been a mistake

Lisa H 12-08-2010 09:13 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyGinger Irishman (Post 649968)
Ah Lisa, i pass on the very best of seasons greetings to you and your family.

As for the watches that go backwards, i need a new battery. And the shop doesn't accept potatoes as payment. And that's a problem, because i only have potatoes to spare. i gave all my money to the catholic church to save me from hell.

i think that may have been a mistake

What are seasons greetings, is that like giving flowers on a first date. What kind of seasoning do you give, salt, pepper, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc.

Why would you give your money to the church, and do you always pay for things with potatoes.

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 09:27 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 649978)
What are seasons greetings, is that like giving flowers on a first date. What kind of seasoning do you give, salt, pepper, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc.

Why would you give your money to the church, and do you always pay for things with potatoes.

Well the seasoning i use really does depend on what i'm cooking. For a first date i think time alone might be inappropriate, there should be chaperones, so i'm afraid there will not be any cooking, and no seasoning. Perhaps I should bring something more traditional, such as flowers, as you suggested. That is a lovely flower in your hair, tell me, are you a punkrocker?

I gave my money to the church, as they needed it to pay compensation to all the altar boys that the priests raped. This has resulted in me having to resurrect the barter economy over here, where i offer potatoes as payment. At least until next month, when my crop is due to fail. I'm not sure what i'll do then

Lisa H 12-08-2010 09:38 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyGinger Irishman (Post 649985)
Well the seasoning i use really does depend on what i'm cooking. For a first date i think time alone might be inappropriate, there should be chaperones, so i'm afraid there will not be any cooking, and no seasoning. Perhaps I should bring something more traditional, such as flowers, as you suggested. That is a lovely flower in your hair, tell me, are you a punkrocker?

I gave my money to the church, as they needed it to pay compensation to all the altar boys that the priests raped. This has resulted in me having to resurrect the barter economy over here, where i offer potatoes as payment. At least until next month, when my crop is due to fail. I'm not sure what i'll do then

While giving seasoning on date would be different but not very appropriate. Why would give flowers only on a first date. Shouldn't you give flowers on every date.

It is a pretty flower, do you like it. I do not want to be a punk rocker. Anyway I thought punk rockers stuffed chains up there noses and got very bad haircuts.

Why would you give your money to the priests so they can continue raping. Wouldn't it be better to give them the potatoes.

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 09:48 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 649993)
While giving seasoning on date would be different but not very appropriate. Why would give flowers only on a first date. Shouldn't you give flowers on every date.

It is a pretty flower, do you like it. I do not want to be a punk rocker. Anyway I thought punk rockers stuffed chains up there noses and got very bad haircuts.

Why would you give your money to the priests so they can continue raping. Wouldn't it be better to give them the potatoes.

I would certainly bring a gift on every date, sometimes flowers, sometimes chocolates, sometimes jewellery.
I feel it is important for a man to prove to a woman that he feels proper and godly affection for her, and should shower that same woman with gifts.

Some punk rockers do have very bad haircuts. And they blaspheme quite a lot in their songs. I do not like punk rockers either. As for chains in their noses, they do look like animals with those. More like bulls than people.

The money was given to pay the altar boys to get some counselling. They all seem to be ok now.

I do not give the priests any money anymore, they do not even get potatoes. Potatoes can be used as food, and the priests do not even deserve that much for all their bad behaviour. They should repent their sins.

Lisa H 12-08-2010 10:02 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyGinger Irishman (Post 649997)
I would certainly bring a gift on every date, sometimes flowers, sometimes chocolates, sometimes jewellery.
I feel it is important for a man to prove to a woman that he feels proper and godly affection for her, and should shower that same woman with gifts.

Some punk rockers do have very bad haircuts. And they blaspheme quite a lot in their songs. I do not like punk rockers either. As for chains in their noses, they do look like animals with those. More like bulls than people.

The money was given to pay the altar boys to get some counselling. They all seem to be ok now.

I do not give the priests any money anymore, they do not even get potatoes. Potatoes can be used as food, and the priests do not even deserve that much for all their bad behaviour. They should repent their sins.

Would you take the girl out on your donkey cart, or would you have to borrow your dads.

Where would you take her, the fish & chip and then the pub to get drunk and sing Irish limericks.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3163/...6e76d98478.jpg

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 10:11 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 650009)
Would you take the girl out on your donkey cart, or would you have to borrow your dads.

Where would you take her, the fish & chip and then the pub to get drunk and sing Irish limericks.

I won't quote the picture, even though it is obviously a high spec model.

I have managed to obtain the money (from capturing a leprechaun and forcing him to give me his pot of gold....... that is a true story) to have my own cart. No donkey though. So we'd have to hook up betsy the cow to it to haul us along. Would that be ok?

I must say, i'm very excited at the chance to meet a beautiful blonde baptist.

I think firstly we would sing irish ballads, and then maybe dance at the crossroads. A great Irish American Eamonn DeVelera, suggested that all irish maidens should dance at the crossroads

Lisa H 12-08-2010 10:26 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyGinger Irishman (Post 650017)
I won't quote the picture, even though it is obviously a high spec model.

I have managed to obtain the money (from capturing a leprechaun and forcing him to give me his pot of gold....... that is a true story) to have my own cart. No donkey though. So we'd have to hook up betsy the cow to it to haul us along. Would that be ok?

I must say, i'm very excited at the chance to meet a beautiful blonde baptist.

I think firstly we would sing irish ballads, and then maybe dance at the crossroads. A great Irish American Eamonn DeVelera, suggested that all irish maidens should dance at the crossroads

Are you sure it was leprechaun, it might have been a drunken Irish midget lying in the gutter. You then stole his money.

It does not sound very proper to have cow pull a donkey cart. Would expect a girl to put up with a second rate form of transport, especially if you are trying to impress her.

Is this the cross road dancing you are talking about.

http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/pe...D6B6DF5BA0.jpg

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 10:33 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 650031)
Are you sure it was leprechaun, it might have been a drunken Irish midget lying in the gutter. You then stole his money.

It does not sound very proper to have cow pull a donkey cart. Would expect a girl to put up with a second rate form of transport, especially if you are trying to impress her.

Is this the cross road dancing you are talking about.

No it was definitely a leprechaun. I recognised him. He was in that film, Darby O Gill and the Little People. He wasn't the king of the leprechauns, because then i would be able to afford a car.

I would think that a girl would appreciate me being honest and true, and show that i have my own transport, even if it is a second rate form, than to be depending on others for everything. I know that pride goes before a fall, and pride is one of the 7 deadly sins, but i am only human, with human faults.

This is the crossroad dancing i was talking about

Lisa H 12-08-2010 10:52 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyGinger Irishman (Post 650037)
No it was definitely a leprechaun. I recognised him. He was in that film, Darby O Gill and the Little People. He wasn't the king of the leprechauns, because then i would be able to afford a car.

I would think that a girl would appreciate me being honest and true, and show that i have my own transport, even if it is a second rate form, than to be depending on others for everything. I know that pride goes before a fall, and pride is one of the 7 deadly sins, but i am only human, with human faults.

This is the crossroad dancing i was talking about

Are you sure it was a leprechaun. I suspect it was a drunken Irish midget lying in the gutter. You were must have been very drunk that night when you got thrown out of the pub.

If you were going to take a girl out on a donkey cart, then you will did a donkey to pull it. It is like have a lawn mower engine in a v8 supercar.

I watched the video, I could not understand the girl, was she sing some song to the devil. Was the guy a homer, he dressed like one and got all excited when the drums were playing.

I thought this is how you are supposed to dance.



How many times during the week do go to the pub drinking and brawling.

Lisa H 12-08-2010 10:57 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Are you one of these dancers


PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 11:09 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 650059)
Are you sure it was a leprechaun. I suspect it was a drunken Irish midget lying in the gutter. You were must have been very drunk that night when you got thrown out of the pub.

If you were going to take a girl out on a donkey cart, then you will did a donkey to pull it. It is like have a lawn mower engine in a v8 supercar.

I watched the video, I could not understand the girl, was she sing some song to the devil. Was the guy a homer, he dressed like one and got all excited when the drums were playing.

I thought this is how you are supposed to dance.



How many times during the week do go to the pub drinking and brawling.

The guy is american, but i don't think he's a true american. He co-habits with a woman out of wedlock, and that means he can't be a true red white and blue.

It was definitely a leprechaun. I took out my iphone and checked him on imdb, and he was one of the little people.

Anyway, if he was a midget drunk, then why did he have a pot of gold buried in the forest under a tree?

I'm not too sure what you mean by
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H
then you will did a donkey to pull it

Perhaps you made a mistake in typing. And we've already discussed my limited financial means, I can only afford a cow for the moment. However if i work hard and pray hard then maybe god will find it in his heart to grant me more money and then i can buy a proper car, and be able to afford to send you more gifts?

I don't go to the pub drinking every night during the week. Sometimes i drink at home. And i only brawl when someone insults my kin.

Thank you for the clip, it was very good. Brought a tear to my eye to see all those maidens together, dancing and enjoying themselves, like good chaste women

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 11:15 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 650061)
Are you one of these dancers



No, i'm not. My hair is ginger. I look more like an orang-utan.

Lisa H 12-08-2010 11:20 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PaddyGinger Irishman (Post 650080)
The guy is american, but i don't think he's a true american. He co-habits with a woman out of wedlock, and that means he can't be a true red white and blue.

It was definitely a leprechaun. I took out my iphone and checked him on imdb, and he was one of the little people.

Anyway, if he was a midget drunk, then why did he have a pot of gold buried in the forest under a tree?

I'm not too sure what you mean by

Perhaps you made a mistake in typing. And we've already discussed my limited financial means, I can only afford a cow for the moment. However if i work hard and pray hard then maybe god will find it in his heart to grant me more money and then i can buy a proper car, and be able to afford to send you more gifts?

I don't go to the pub drinking every night during the week. Sometimes i drink at home. And i only brawl when someone insults my kin.

Thank you for the clip, it was very good. Brought a tear to my eye to see all those maidens together, dancing and enjoying themselves, like good chaste women

ok. The line should read;
"If you were going to take a girl out on a donkey cart, then you will need a donkey to pull it. It is like have a lawn mower engine in a v8 supercar"

I have never heard of a Irish people having cars. Don't they always walk or have donkey carts.

PaddyGinger Irishman 12-08-2010 11:30 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES IRELAND!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 650086)
ok. The line should read;
"If you were going to take a girl out on a donkey cart, then you will need a donkey to pull it. It is like have a lawn mower engine in a v8 supercar"

I have never heard of a Irish people having cars. Don't they always walk or have donkey carts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa H (Post 650086)
I have never heard of a Irish people having cars. Don't they always walk or have donkey carts.

Ah, i understand. Thank you for clearing that up. Sometimes in my drink addled state i need things to be explained to me properly.

No, some irish people have cars. I think that farmer murphy has one. He has a house with a real roof too. he lives in the next county though. But i heard farmer o kelly talking about the car in the pub the other day.

anyway Lisa, i have to go to bed. I have to get up early to milk betsy and then take the milk to the creamery 15 miles away. without spilling any. as you can guess, this is very important, walking 15 miles in the rain with 2 buckets of milk and trying not to let the water in either of them, so i need to have my wits about me. Perhaps we can continue this conversation tomorrow?


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