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- - Manly Jokes (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=32726)

Quote:

Originally Posted by self_aware_sinner (Post 571864)

What is another term for assault victim?

Baptist family member.

Now THAT'S a manly joke harharhar

What is another term for pedophile or child molester?

Baptist gentleman

Hardyharharhar

The 'catliks' got nothing on you bunch of dirty old men mongering teenage girls like ever so much cattle. Even the young baptists look hungry for the time when they can set their sagging jowls and flappy guts into a nice piece of teen jailbait.

The devil laughs, he knows he will have plenty of customers from among the True Believers™.

Me, I feel more sad.. I guess that's compassion of sorts.

God bless,

sas

I don't get it. Do you do any knock, knock jokes? :mellow:

Q: Why did Jesus cross the road?
A: Somebody nailed him to a chicken.

(OK OK it's not funny but after that last guy I can't miss...)

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Trick question, feminists can't change anything.

A man and his wife walk into a landover baptistry. They are both sucked into an evil world of lies and hatred and are brainwashed into becoming the sexist slaves landover so clearly values

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristianLad (Post 575258)

A man and his wife walk into a landover baptistry. They are both sucked into an evil world of lies and hatred and are brainwashed into becoming the sexist slaves landover so clearly values

If you think that this place is an evil world then why are you trolling here?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Higgins (Post 575262)

If you think that this place is an evil world then why are you trolling here?

Are the 2 of you the New Martin and Lewis? If so Christianlad, you need to work on your material!

Quote:

Higgins Re: Manly Jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristianLad http://www.landoverbaptist.net/image...s/viewpost.gif
A man and his wife walk into a landover baptistry. They are both sucked into an evil world of lies and hatred and are brainwashed into becoming the sexist slaves landover so clearly values

If you think that this place is an evil world then why are you trolling here? Today 09:52 AM

There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there.

Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone..." :innocent:

Excuse me if any of these are repeats...

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night goes to his mother with the following question. "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances are white."

Q: How does a sorority chick turn the lights on after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: What does a sorority chick say after sex?
A: So, are you guys all on the same team?

Q: What's the difference between a sorority chick and the garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out twice a week.

Q: What is the sorority chick mating call?
A: I am soooo drunk!

A group of 7 sorority chicks come into a bar. They are all chanting "21 days, 21 days, 21 days ..." They order a couple bottles of champagne, grab a table in the back and start to chatter excitedly.

The bartender brings the champagne and glasses to the table and asks what "21 days" is all about.

One of the girls explains they just completed a jigsaw puzzle. It was really big and kinda hard. She raised her glass and so did the rest of the girls. She then said, "The box said 6-8 years, but we completed it in just ..."

"21 days, 21 days, 21 days," they all chanted.

We are all very upset with dead beat dads who do not shoulder the burden of the children they sire. It is a shameful thing in theory, but the practical matters sometimes complicate the issues and cloud the truth. It seems a simple question, "Who is the Daddy?" These answers from the family services forms show how complex and comical the issue can become:

Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.
I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
I do not know who the father of my child was as all men look the same to me.
Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all, when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Brother, is it possible that there are THAT many literate, white women with bastard children? :fear2:

I don't see a single "My baby daddy be O-BAM-A, yo!" or "I donno his name, but he be sellin smack right out yo window heah" in that list.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer (Post 576005)

They've been cleaned up for our eyes. I know I can't take the street talk, let alone when they decide to write it.

What do dwarves and dice have in common?

The most likely number is 7.

There where two women sitting quietly together.............

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Dewitt (Post 579684)

There where two women sitting quietly together.............

:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Dewitt (Post 579684)

There where two women sitting quietly together.............

Oh, I can top that. There were two women - wait for it...

... having an intelligent and meaningful conversation together! :haha: :rofl:

Q: How many men does it take to change a lightbulp?
A: Non - Our wifes just have to learn how to cook in the dark.

Q: Why did God provide women with slightly more braincells than horses?
A: So she doesn't drink of the bucket while she's washing the floor.

Q: What do you say if you find your wife lying on the floor, crying and in pain?
A: Nothing - It shouldn't be necesary to tell her twice - should it?

Ouch lol..

Why are women shorter than men? So they can easily bend over. hehehe :innocent:

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesperBechDane (Post 594688)

Ouch lol..

Why are women shorter than men? So they can easily bend over. hehehe :innocent:

That doesn't even make sense. :huh:

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesperBechDane (Post 594688)

Ouch lol..

Why are women shorter than men? So they can easily bend over. hehehe :innocent:

What is that, some kind of eskimo joke? :huh:

I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked moron. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!

So I called him a son of a mutant pig. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner! LOL

I thought this one was pretty funny.