I'm not one to cause trouble, but...
I am hoping this will settle some problems within our ladies' group. Remember, ladies, we are representing Christ to those that visit God's Favorite Forum. When we see old biddies clucking as if they were roosters, we present the wrong impression for the church. I won't mention names, because that would be indiscreet, but certain women that have seven pointy-headed children (wonder who the fathers are? so does she) and others that live in a certain midwestern state (hail to the victors valiant ring a bell?) are just making a total mess of things here. I have prayed a hedge of protection from them and I'm sure Jesus is answering me since He ALWAYS does.
I propose that we have a quilting bee sometime in the near future to reinforce our fellowship. Along with Sister Johnson, I'll bring pie. Perhaps Mary could bring her delightful strawberry surprise. I would ask Heather to bring a cherry torte but rumor has it she hasn't had a cherry since sixth grade (blush). Well, ladies, do stop by now that I'm in Freehold. And let's plan this quilting bee soon! Hugs to all! NRL |
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By the way, did you enjoy the cookies I sent you? |
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When the LORD gives my spirit witness, I do not question my judgment. Unfortunately, when some feeble minded women become desperate for lustful satisfaction, they tend to be blinded by rainbow-wielding voyeurs. I am not sure why I used that example - it just came to mind. LOL. Well, my most radiant and adorable Sister in :him-fancy:, I send love and prayers and I just can't wait until I am able to wrap your neck in my arms. Glory! In prayer for your soul, NRL PS: Oh, were those cookies for me? They looked like dog food so I threw them to the neighbor's dogs. It wasn't long after until I saw the neighbor heading somewhere with the dogs wrapped in blankets. I do hope the poor dears are ok. I am so sorry. Don't bother fixing more, though; I am able to make cookies, pies, and other baked goods without assistance from those whose abilities are nowhere near mine. Bless your heart for the thought. |
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Wow! Living in Freehold sounds like it would be so much fun! All you ladies have such a strong community and relationship. I wish my family lived there so I could pay you a visit also Naomi, but instead we are stuck in boring ol' Illinois. :(
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My sweet, confused, little sister. Quite a temperament we've got there, haven't we? :giggle: Are you sure you will be able to find a True Christian™ husband, when you keep showing these little paws of yours? :giggle: Be careful, dear, you don't want to be confused with one of these man-hating feminazis! :o I have sent you a small present, it's the King James Bible 1611 facsimile edition, with two bookmarks, placed at 1 Timothy 2:12-15 and Ephesians 6:22-24. I know that the entire Bible is hard to memorize (although Pastor Zeke accomplished that when he was barely 5 years old! :wub:), but as a True Christian™ woman you should do your best to memorize at least these verses. You could ask Brother Rusty to teach you some of his post-it techniques. Quote:
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Oh thank you darling. I knew there was still something good in your dark, cold, little heart. Quote:
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:true-fancy:. It must bee so nice to have that strong and loving relationship with your neighbours. I hope you have a thrilling quilting bee! And if you need any fabrics, I know a man in Walford :giggle: |
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Eva,
Yes, it is wonderful to reside here. Dearest Basilissa does not live in Freehold, choosing instead to live amongst the illiterate tribes in godless Michigan. She has no husband - no surprise, that - but I am sure you will enjoy getting to know her (perhaps it will keep her busy - since she has a tendency to go off on tangents and ramble about the most petty things). Of course, we do have our "questionable" element nestled among the heathers. After a few prayers, you'll learn to deal with those types should your spiritual journey ever lead you to our gated community. I can help you determine those who will help you develop in your Christian Experience and those best to avoid. Please know that my dearest sister Kate, my lovely sister Mary, and my adorable sister Victory will always be strong, joyful ladies for the Lord. Our modest, humble, selfless Pastor Ezekiel will be happy to answer your every question (speed of answer depends on your tithing level, as it is in every good church). Pastor Ezekiel's lovely fiancee, Daisy, is a jewel among Christian ladies. Their engagement just seems to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, but I'm sure one day Pastor will know that is is the right time to wed our darling Daisy. Hopefully he will do so before Daisy's bosoms drag the ground and cobwebs line her special bulbous place - but one can't rush these things, can one? We'll talk privately. May the love and peace of JESUS surround you today and always! Naomi |
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It seems that a certain barren old rag has just realized that Jesus plans to send her to Hell (1 Timothy 2:15), and she is so desperate to get pregnant, that she is throwing herself at every man she sees. (Yes, that includes smelly homeless bums outside of town, and I'm told that she's been seen with some tranvestites and transsexuals - she obviously knows nothing about biology, poor thing). She has also ben known to try to wreck several Godly Christian marriages, but there have been no takers, so far. :giggle: |
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Oh my - I seem to have put my fingers in a very combustible (and interesting:shifty:) debate:popcorn:
Naomi: Thank you for the good advise on who to associate with - I will take that into account! :thumbsup:Please don´t hesitate on giving me other good pointers. I need all the help I can get, on my wat to salvation:pray: Basilissa - finding a good husband can be hard work! :giggle: |
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Eva, Darling, Don't let a few miscreants whose prayer lives have been allowed to waste away scare you. Psalms 34:7 The Angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that feare him, and deliuereth them. Hallelujah! Once their special time of the month has passed you'll see just how much love we have for one another. Hugs, NRL |
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My Precious, Devoted, Beloved Basilass, I'm not sure where you got your information, but Freehold most certainly does NOT have cracks in its gates. Those of us calling Freehold home are well-protected by not only those gates, but a police force, security patrols, Christ's K-9's, and several undercover agents. It keeps out the riff raff quite nicely. Do you truly think Pastor Ezekiel or Mayor Hold (Kisses, Johnnie-kins) would allow our beloved town to fall in the way you describe? Jesus Himself associated with whores, fornicators, publicans, and other groups with which you are familiar, dear. Are you going to stone Jesus for that? Has His temporary death and resurrection been in vain? Yes, I reach out to sin-sick souls and offer love, compassion, and pie. It is out of my desire to reach everyone I can with Christ's simple - very simple - message that I am often found in less-desirable parts of Des Moines, Detroit, and even (shudder) San Francisco. But I have been able to add to the numbers of God's choir, His redeemed, His faithful. GLORY! Dear, I am so sorry you couldn't make the housewarming today. I have to get back to the party - there are SO many people here today. We'll think of you now and then as we eat ladyfingers and fresh tuna. Hugs, my dear friend. NRL |
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Mrs. A:
I'm standing here with Kirk Cameron - such a handsome man - and Kirk, we'll just have to invite your lovely wife next time - but I digress: The combination of ladyfingers and tuna is not one any of us would consider. As I said, it has to do with Basilissa and the rest of us. Think about it, darling. Are you sure you won't hop a plane and join us? The party lingers on into the wee hours and then we'll walk to services arm in arm as a group of Christian Soldiers (if Cookie can walk in those heels). We love and miss you! Seriously dear, let's let these petty differences be in the past. I value our friendship so. I am asking publicly, in the name of Jesus. NRL |
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By the way, have you forgotten, that you had a housewarming party a week ago? How many of these do you plan to have, my dear? :giggle: Quote:
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Basil,
Last week's housewarming was for my parents, dear. It must be troubling living in a state with medical marijuana - so tempting and available. It does affect memory, sweetheart. Today's housewarming was for Blood of the Lamb Estate - my sprawling, quaint piece of paradise just a stone's throw from several True Christian™ folk. But we don't throw stones at one another - we love and pray God's blessings for our neighbors. Just as I love and pray God's blessings for you, darling. We simply must get together in Michigan - perhaps Battle Creek? NRL |
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By the way, I've spoken with somebody who talked to you yesterday, and she says that the homeless smell emanating from you is rather unbearable. You are so awesome for sharing your pie and your home with the homeless, God will reward you for it! You know, when I volunteer to help the homeless, I make sure to never touch them, never talk to them, and never make eye contact, either. You never know what kind of a disease you may catch by looking into the eyes of a homeless bum! :bad: |
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