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-   -   HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=100493)

Daisy Mae Johnson 07-15-2014 03:49 AM

HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO GOD'S VERY FAVORITE
PASTOR!


http://www.coolaz-koozies.com/koozie...IR-GEN-019.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/m4SJuIi.gif

http://image.blingee.com/images19/co...854_878128.gif

:trippy::angel2::dancing-jesus::trippy::angel2::dancing-jesus::trippy::angel2::dancing-jesus:


I have something very special planned for you.

:wub: :flower::cupidarrow:

Elmer G. White 07-15-2014 04:52 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
A blessed Birthday!

The birthday tithe of my family is on its way with a courier service.

This day of celebration will be superseded only by the day when You enter Heaven! :innocent:Such a sight! The day our LORD ascended to Heaven cannot compare with that, as Jesus Himself will be welcoming you! May You bless us with Your presence for many years to come until that glorious day!

http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/...-shall-bow.jpg

Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

ExGay Alex 07-15-2014 06:52 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Happy birthday! God has richly blessed you, given you another year, American citizenship, and eternal life in Jesus. Shout Glory!

Marko Loimaan-Aho 07-15-2014 07:35 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Happy Birthday!!!

Isaiah 52:7

Faith_Machine 07-15-2014 08:02 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Pastor Zeke, I do hope that on your birthday you will take my advice and stop working for a few hours. I know that's an alien concept for you, but I really sincerely feel a little rest and relaxation will do you good.


Oh, and before I forget, please don't worry if you notice your houseboy is missing. It's OK, he's with me right now. I decided it would be a nice surprise if I got him groomed for you. I figure he should look presentable when you have company over.

Dr Laurence Niles 07-15-2014 08:55 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
What can I say, Pastor Zeke?

Another year where Jesus has held off His desire to bring you to His side in the form or a falling safe or inapproriately positioned steamrollar.

It must be a validation of all of your hard work when Jesus feels you are of more use to Him in this fallen world, administering to unSaved scum and worthless trash who do not exhibit on tenth on the Godliness you possess in your smallest of members.

But take heart. Jesus' love is bountiful and I would keep and eye out for unwieldy power tools, inattentive tank drivers or Itallian streets in Pamplona.

One day Jesus will call you into His powerful muscular embrace, to be held in His firm thews; but until then keep striding manfully forwards, doing the work of The Lord with fear of reprise, thwartation or investigation.

YIC

Mother Of Seven 07-15-2014 09:52 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Happy Birthday!
What a glorious day!
Your birthday should be declared a public holiday nationwide. But that is not going to happen as long as the homer loving nigro occupies the WhiteBlack House.

Attila's Wife 07-15-2014 03:51 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Happy Birthday, dear Pastor Zeke. :wub: We thank our Beloved Lord for your continued presence among us.

http://www.straitwaytruth.com/strait...remiah3-15.png

Cranky Old Man 07-15-2014 04:37 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Congratulations to the miracle that is Pastor Ezekiel Flint. Every day I look in the mirror and see an old old man waiting for Jesus to kill him. Somehow you never seem to age a day. Actually you seem to get younger and younger. Jesus clearly want's you to stay around forever to fix the world and prepare it for the arrival of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We are truly blessed to be allowed to exist in your presence.

Also I want my axe back.

Mary Etheldreda 07-15-2014 04:44 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
A most blessed birthday to you, dear Pastor and Brother in Christ!

Benedict A. Davis 07-15-2014 05:58 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Happy Birthday Mein Shepard!

I've started that Rosetta Stone German course you gave me for my Birthday last month. I have to say I was a bit confused when I 1st saw the nametag and you had inadvertently signed the tag To Pastor Zeke but I know little mistakes happen occasionally.
I hope your present from Omaha Steaks Prime Reserve arrived today, they promised me it would. They also told me I was the 1st to order a half of beef so they have to find one of their fancy boxes to ship it in.

I would have posted earlier but Miss Daisy's e card caused several epileptic attacks!

JustGotSaved 07-15-2014 06:47 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Although you have not been able to fufill my requests for some counseling due to other commitments, time and time again, I would like to wish you a happy birthday.

I really have a lot of problems and would very much need to talk to you abou them. You're my only hope, but i understand if you can't make it. I'll just sit overhere by the balcony .

"Maybe a week from Tuesday", as you have offered before?

If not, can you point me to another conselor. SOmeone who isn't too busy?

I'd rather not talk to a woman counseler (as if!) because it's a

sexural thing.

Your Brother

John Creeser 07-15-2014 07:02 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Blessed Birthday Pastor Ezekiel.

By the way, has anyone seen Pastor Ezekiel today?


.......or my wife?

Father Maurice Lester 07-15-2014 09:32 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson (Post 1100598)

I have something very special planned for you.

:wub: :flower::cupidarrow:


Does this have anything to do with cows and free milk? :lol:

If you haven't been to the Altar by now he is never going to put a ring on it!




Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo




.

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D. 07-15-2014 09:50 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Dear JustGotSaved,

Today I was with Pastor Ezekiel on the Freehold golf course to celebrate another year of his eternal devotion to God. His tales of how he single handedly won the world soccer championship were inspiring. The Freehold golf course is blessed. I especially like the 15th hole, a par three that plays slightly downhill to a green surrounded by statues of Pastor Ezekiel. It is a true links hole in that if you hit a shot of indifference you will get punished but you can also make birdie. I was doing quite well until near the end of the game it was as if God took over for Pastor Ezekiel and guided him towards a hole in one three times in a row. It was a truly magnificent and utterly humbling event which reminded me of Luke 18:27 (The things which are impossible with men are possible with God).

But that is not what I wanted to talk to you about.
Quote:

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved (Post 1100680)
If not, can you point me to another conselor. SOmeone who isn't too busy?

I am almost certain I will be able to use one of my many God given skills to help you. I would need some information in advance though. Minor formalities like your annual income and the size of your stock portfolio.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

Faith_Machine 07-15-2014 11:07 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester (Post 1100708)
Does this have anything to do with cows and free milk? :lol:

If you haven't been to the Altar by now he is never going to put a ring on it!




Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo




.


I am going to kick your ass. It's that simple.

I am going to

KICK.

YOUR.

ASS.



Wait for it.

Mistress Cookie 07-15-2014 11:50 PM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Thank you, Brother Machine. You would think on this ONE DAY, our beloved Pastor and his loved ones would be free of disgusting CatLick persecution!

As for me, I am sending flowers born by that Freehold paperboy Zeke once admired from my porch. Will someone please give him a ride home if he has to stay late?

http://i376.photobucket.com/albums/o...th-Flowers.jpg

Faith_Machine 07-16-2014 12:15 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
You would not believe what just happened to me, Cookie. I took Zeke's houseboy on a road trip to Des Moines because I though it would be nice to get him a manicure and pedicure so he'd look presentable for Zeke's house guests.

Anyway, the lady at the mani-pedi place said she'd give us a good deal if we both got mani-pedis, so I said what the heck. Anyway, our fingernails and toenails are looking really nice now, but when we left the shop, some ruffians who saw us leaving together obviously got the wrong idea and started hurling epithets at us.

I just thank the good Lord I had my Ruger LCR-22 on me. And no, my conceal-and-carry permit is not current, so please instruct gate security not to let any state law enforcement or Des Moines cops into the city until I confirm that this is all straightened out.

I've obviously gone through a heck of a lot to give Zeke a splendid birthday week, but I don't mind. He's worth it.

Brother V 07-16-2014 12:39 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Personally, I can't think of a person who I respect on these forums currently, more than pastor Zeke!

Even though we've had some differences in the past, Jesus forgives, and so do we.

Now is not the time to bring up past discrepancies, Now is the time for us all to get together and celebrate this man.

I know you all will join me in offering up a toast and a prayer and singing a song for this man.

So, lets all sing together "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dearest zeee-eeekkkeee; happy birthday to you"!

YIC
V

Mistress Cookie 07-16-2014 01:33 AM

Re: HAPPY BLESSED BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine (Post 110072)
I took Zeke's houseboy on a road trip to Des Moines...when we left the shop, some ruffians who saw us leaving together obviously got the wrong idea and started hurling epithets at us....please instruct gate security not to let any state law enforcement or Des Moines cops into the city until I confirm that this is all straightened out.

We got a few calls...those weren't "ruffians"....they were undercover cops doing a stakeout.

Was this salon by any chance at a place called "The Midnight Sun Motel" ? ?


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