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-   -   Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=92214)

bryce carmony 09-19-2013 02:56 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
I don't buy into the whole " we'd have been better off without the fall of adam" because 1- they'd have no knowledge 2 - there'd be no us and 3- it'd be rather dull and boring.

I don't view the fall of man as a mistake.

Mary Etheldreda 09-19-2013 03:14 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Lucid (Post 1029124)
I don't view the fall of man as a mistake.


You ARE mormon, aren't you!

Tell me, what's the "science" behind your magic underwear?

:giggle:

Donovan A. Mordecai 09-19-2013 05:59 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bryce carmony (Post 1029124)
I don't buy into the whole " we'd have been better off without the fall of adam" because 1- they'd have no knowledge 2 - there'd be no us and 3- it'd be rather dull and boring.

I don't view the fall of man as a mistake.

You see therein lies your problem, you don't take a Biblical perspective on things.

God does not make mistakes, there is nothing outside his purview

Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.

Proverbs 16:4 The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.

Matthew 15:13 But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.

Acts 13:48 And when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of the Lord: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed.

God knows we will sin, because he made us weak, yet He gave us free will, and by it we follow the outcome he preordained. He want's us to make our own choices, so that we may come to Him in earnest subjugation.


Ephesians 2:2 - Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:

Romans 13:2 - Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.

Acts 2:38 - Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Luke 13:3 - I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.


So by not living according to His Will, you are proving Him right and mighty, as we True Christians™ already knew he was.

Simple

Please come to Jesus, and prove God correct, yet again.

God Bless
DAM

John Scopes 09-23-2013 12:24 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
As always in this place, I find the unscientific conclusions drawn by the denizens here to be highly amusing. It is a well established fact that humanity descended from apes not monkeys.

For your edification the differences...

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Ape_vs_Monkey

MitzaLizalor 09-23-2013 01:14 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by John Scopes (Post 1029890)
As always in this place, I find the unscientific conclusions drawn by the denizens here to be highly amusing. It is a well established fact that humanity descended from apes not monkeys.

For your edification the differences...

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Ape_vs_Monkey

I didn't click that link because I know that bananas are designed to fit the human hand. Now monkeys have smaller hands that humans, but also eat bananas. Jesus created monkeys before humans.
JOHN 1
1-[B]3][/B In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
14a And the Word was made flesh..
15 John bare witness of him and cried, saying, This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me.

cf Matthew 3, Mark 1 & Malachi 3
And sure enough, He designed smaller bananas for monkeys. According to evolutionists, the so-called "apes" emerged later than "monkeys" and yes we do know the difference and that is how we know they are wrong.

Thomas Taylor 09-23-2013 08:44 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by John Scopes (Post 1029890)
As always in this place, I find the unscientific conclusions drawn by the denizens here to be highly amusing. It is a well established fact that humanity descended from apes not monkeys.

For your edification the differences...

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Ape_vs_Monkey

As always in this place, I find the atheist fixation on the anal cavities of monkeys highly amusing. It is a well known fact that God created everything:

Are you trying to suggest that God is a monkey?

Genesis 1:26

And God said, Let vs make man in our Image, after our likenesse: and let them haue dominion ouer the fish of the sea, and ouer the foule of the aire, and ouer the cattell, and ouer all the earth, and ouer euery creeping thing that creepeth vpon the earth

I somehow think you will change your mind when you meet Him for Judgement you will change your mind. But by then it will be too late. Enjoy your eternal swim in the fiery lake God has waiting for you.

karosyrup713 09-23-2013 12:58 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

Mary Etheldreda 09-23-2013 02:52 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Ah, so atheists believe monkeys come from banana trees. Makes perfect sense.

:giggle:

Attila's Wife 09-23-2013 03:13 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
I just clicked on New Posts and read this as Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Meerkats?

I need new glasses, don't I? But the idea is really no sillier than the idea that we come from monkeys.

Didymus Much 09-23-2013 05:51 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Attila's Wife (Post 1030001)
...I need new glasses, don't I?...

Demons in your eyeballs, must be. Or, demons in your old glasses, making them not work properly.

Now, I'm not saying it's demons, but... demons.

Any money spent on new glasses (which could very well be demon-infested themselves) would be better put towards moar tithing and/or having your present glasses exorcised by one of the Certified Not-A-Scam® Satisfaction Guaranteed or No Money Refunded (if it doesn't work it's because you didn't pay enough, obv) team of expert de-Demonizers from Bendover Laptist.

Anyone you happen to injure or kill while operating your motor vehicle while not being able to see past your own front bumper, well, it's what God wanted to happen so what are they complaining about?

MitzaLizalor 09-23-2013 06:29 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Now that you have grasped the concept of demons, have you ever noticed how evolutionists keep going on about how we're 98% chimpanzee?
Quote:

Originally Posted by Didymus Much (Post 1030026)
Demons in your eyeballs, must be.

And yet in almost the same breath, depending on location and current obsession, claim that although they are apparently supposed to be human too, we are only between 1˝ – 4% Neanderthal? See how it doesn't make sense?

EXAMPLE


Quote:

Originally Posted by kaos713 (Post 1029968)
humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.


Alvin Moss 09-24-2013 02:11 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

Hold up there, pahtna.

I got all kinda genes and blue jeans, too. I'm about 30% Welsh or less maybe. Are you saying I'm more closely related to a banana tree than any other particular tribe that I'm related to?

It's hard to credit that kind of thinking. I think you'd have to be some kind of idiot to believe that.

Can't you see that you are being led down the road of gullibility by the cult of science? You know, if it sounds ridiculous, it probably is.

HonestSeeker 09-24-2013 03:09 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

:wacko: Typical pinko flip flopping. Now that you done seen all the scriptural evidences agin your evilutionist psychobabble, you're trying to walk it back. And tripping over your tail. "I never said we done come from monkeys!" Blah blah blah. Pathetic.

Too late boy, we all here done seen what you writ.

Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being

Bull bunions. Y'all are also all pinko fags. Moreover, your master Satan is a supernatural being; don't even try to tell me you don't believe on him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

:thumbdown: Blah blah blah. What a pretentious pinko demon you are. OK smarty pants, if humans and monkeys had a common ancestor, what was his name?

Cricket chirp... Cricket chirp... Cricket chirp....

Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

:wacko: Now I've heard it all. Humans is 55% banana? You are just the dumbest atheist I ever done come across. What's the matter son, you got monkey shit for brains? Even Darwin hisself would roll his accursed eyes at that gibberish. Banannerz? Damn son, Darwin sure done made a monkey out of you.

How the handkerchief can you share yer DNA anyway? Whatchya gonna do, cut a chunk of goo out of your leg and shove it up a bonobo's ass?

Don't come down to Blaine talking that crap son; some of us still believe in the right to bear arms. :lex_12:

Thomas Taylor 09-24-2013 05:09 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

Listen up and listen up good. boy. We are not interested in your pervervse sexual proclivities and whatever else you do with monkies.

It just goes to show what a government schooling does to kids these days. Bananas' and monkies indeed. Was your teacher a nigra or a joo or some such thing?

MitzaLizalor 09-24-2013 06:59 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor (Post 1030139)
Listen up and listen up good. boy. We are not interested in your pervervse sexual proclivities and whatever else you do with monkies.

It just goes to show what a government schooling does to kids these days. Bananas' and monkies indeed. Was your teacher a nigra or a joo or some such thing?

If we're 55% banana tree and 50% tse tse fly, that's 105% unless I've gone senile or something.
Quote:


:themonkey::themonkey:


.

Pastor Ed Lowman 09-24-2013 07:22 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
Atheists don't believe that everything came from monkeys.

There is nothing atheists have in common except for the lack in belief of a supernatural being.

If you are referring to the theory of evolution, the theory does not state that 'everything came from monkeys', or even that humans came from monkeys. Rather, it states that humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

Well, ok, NEARLY everything then. Quit stalling and face the music of your own hoky theory. :angry:

In the Bible, the animals were brought to Adam and he named them (Genesis 2:19), so they could not have "evolved" from each other. It's right there in the Bible in black and white. You can't change that. I trust Moses over the fossil record any day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by karosyrup713 (Post 1029968)
Indeed, it states that all life has a common ancestor. Data that supports this, for example, is the fact that humans share 98% of their DNA with bonobos and 55% with banana trees.

So you're saying I have parents and grandparents and great grandparents, and one of those great grandparents way, way back there is a banana tree???!!!

I've heard it all now!

Pastor Ed

Thomas Taylor 09-24-2013 11:52 AM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor (Post 1030145)
If we're 55% banana tree and 50% tse tse fly, that's 105% unless I've gone senile or something.
:themonkey::themonkey:
.

If you look at his other comments according to Mr. Clever Chops atheist we are 98% bonobo and 55% banana. That's 153%! I always knew these atteists were numpties but that just prooves it.

Attila's Wife 09-24-2013 12:05 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor (Post 1030157)
If you look at his other comments according to Mr. Clever Chops atheist we are 98% bonobo and 55% banana. That's 153%! I always knew these atteists were numpties but that just prooves it.

And that's not even including the 50% tse tse fly bit!

Andrew the Kike 09-24-2013 01:57 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
I'm pretty sure Jesus is dead too.
:jesus:

Atheists worship a dead guy...
Christians worship a dead guy...
I'm sorry, but as a Jew, I can see that your logic is just as bad as the monkey worshippers.

Mary Etheldreda 09-24-2013 02:08 PM

Re: Why Do Atheists Believe Everything Came From Monkeys?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GodIsPrettyCool (Post 1030159)
I'm pretty sure Jesus is dead too.
:jesus:

Atheists worship a dead guy...
Christians worship a dead guy...
I'm sorry, but as a Jew, I can see that your logic is just as bad as the monkey worshippers.

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